I’ve been addicted to selfies since I first turned my big, bulky digital camera around and snapped a photo of myself in the 10th grade. I couldn’t see what I was taking, but when I uploaded the pictures to my computer via USB, I would pick out the good from the bad, upload the good to Myspace, and take notes for next time. The selfie addiction got even worse when I got my first Macbook and was introduced to Photo Booth back in 2006. I could take photos of myself with the camera facing myself. It was revolutionary.
Then, a couple years later, Apple released front facing cameras on iPhones and my life changed. And so did the lives of many others. Selfies took over.
Whether you’ve been taking selfies since you got your first camera in the 90s, or you started taking selfies after Ellen Degeneres took that epic group selfie at the Oscars, you might be (and probably are) addicted.
Here are 15 signs you are addicted to selfies. If they are all you, seek help. I know I need to.
1. You use your phone’s camera as a mirror. Or maybe we should we say — sometimes you use your camera as a phone.
2. After all, you don’t trust anyone’s opinion on what you look like. You only trust your phone.
3. You know where the best selfie lighting is in your home, your office, your car, your friend’s home, the subway… Basically everywhere.
4. Sometimes you end up taking a million selfies and somehow wind up in a weird position compared to the one you started in. For example, I once started taking selfies sitting on the couch before and ten minutes later, was on the floor with my legs up on the coffee table still taking selfies. This happens often.
5. You know to angle down, not up. And certainly not straight on. #MustAppearThin
6. You are always trying to get people to take selfies with you.
7. If you’re taking a selfie with others, you have to be the one to take the picture. Other people just don’t know how to angle the camera – you mean phone.
8. Your phone is always telling you your storage is almost full, but you ignore it because you don’t have the patience to go through and delete a bunch of selfies.
9. You’re actually not sure how your storage is almost full though because usually you just take selfies with Snapchat, but delete them before you can save or send.
10. Whenever you click into your camera to take a picture of anything that isn’t you, the camera is always facing you. Ahh that’s me. Need to reverse the camera real quick. *Collective eye rolls from everyone you are with because your selfie taking habit has gotten out of control*
11. Whenever you’re on your phone people just assume you’re taking selfies.
12. And it annoys the fuck out of them.
13. Animal? Selfie.
14. Being a tourist? Selfie.
15. Basically, if you didn’t selfie, it didn’t happen. It’s a lifestyle, not an addiction. Keeeeeeeep telling yourself that.
