I loved college. Actually, love might be an understatement. I met some of my best friends in the entire world in college. I got to study “abroad” in college – okay maybe I went across the country to LA for a few months, but whatever. I blacked out multiple times a week in college. I ate a shit ton of drunken pizza and was able to work it off at the gym because I always had time to exercise. I hooked up with a lot of “interesting” people in college. I don’t really remember much about the whole “school” part of college, but I do remember that I had a lot of fucking fun. I even think I liked the whole school part. I mean, avid fan of writing papers right here. Crazy, right?
To anyone who doesn’t believe that college is truly the best four years of your life — your life clearly did not peak in college. And although that’s fine or whatever for you, I am happy to admit that I did peak in college AND I AM PROUD.
Here are 15 signs your life may have peaked in college and you miss it a littleeeeee too much. Long live our glory days, guys.
1. The majority of Instagrams you post now are old pictures and old statuses from your college days.
“OMG WAS THAT REALLY SIX YEARS AGO BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY LOL.” Thank you Timehop.
2. You still claim the time you spent abroad was literally the best time of your life.
Nothing compares. Will you ever be as happy as you were during those 5 months again? You’re not sure…
3. You are a firm believer that the music that came out when you were in college is SO MUCH BETTER than any music that has come out since.
Like, when did music start sucking? The minute you graduated, duh!!! I would now like to give a shoutout to this list of AWESOME SONGS FROM COLLEGE that I made in 2011… Enjoy.
4. Whenever you see people from college that you haven’t seen in a while, they expect you to be wild and crazy — just like you were in college.
But no. You’re not. You’re just hungry and tired. People are always disappointed in you. Little do they know, you are too.
5. You still try to use your college ID to get discounts and all that good stuff.
And it works. Partly because no one cares enough to ask you if you’re really still in college when you show an ID with no expiration date… and also because you are very convincing that you are still a college student, because you sometimes forget that you aren’t.
6. Whenever you’re feeling lonely and have no one to text, you remind yourself that in college you texted approximately 20-30 people every weekend night to find out what people were doing.
You had so many friends. So many people to pregame with, grab dinner with, go to parties with, hook up with, etc. People liked you (or so you thought). Where did all of these people go?
7. The most recent crazy story that you were involved in is from your college years.
And you will continue to tell those stories again and again and again and again. Whether it was the time you woke up in a random person’s bed with no pants on because you blacked out and got sick at their party the night before OR the time you tried to prank a hookup by telling him via Facebook chat to come over while his friend was hiding in your bed pretending to be you to surprise him, you will tell these stories to your f*cking grandkids. You were just sooooooo much fun and soooo crazy.
8. You still wear college swag, and you’ll probably never stop.
That stuff was either super expensive… or super free because you played a sport/were part of greek life in college. And you have to keep wearing that stuff to let everyone know about your super cool past.
9. You won’t drink the drink you used to in college because, well, you can’t handle it anymore, but when the drink is in your vicinity you let everyone know that you used to be able to chug handles of that sh*t…
in college. No one should focus on what you can or can’t drink now. All that matters was that you could drink your future self under the table back then. You were a #BOSS.
10. You often brag about the fact that you didn’t get hungover in college.
The mornings after you drank, you would eat a bagel and bounce back to reality (AKA day drinking) real quick. Now, you go drinking one night and you’re out of commission for an entire week. It’s not okay.
11. When your college-aged siblings or recent grads from the office ask you to go out on a weeknight, you kindly decline but also let them know that when you were in college you went out on weeknights alllllll the time.
Because you did. And you often went to the bathroom to throw up during class the next day because you were sooooo hungover, nbd.
12. You feel as though you looked 100 times better in college than you do now which makes you want to use old pictures of yourself as profile pictures across your social media accounts.
You were in great shape back then because you were literally always at the gym (you had nothing better to do) and because your metabolism was faster (you’re old now). Your face also just looked younger in general. It had a glow. Now, you’re just meh. Can you please have your college glow back?
13. Your internships from college are cooler than the job(s) you’ve worked since graduation.
You still have those internships on your resume and they’re not going anywhere any time soon. Is there a time table on when you’re supposed to get rid of those bad boys? Because that will suck. You also miss being an intern in general. Life was so much easier back then. Now you have to, like, actually work. *Sad face*
14. When people start talking about hookups, you immediately revert back to your college days talking about alllll the people you used to hook up with.
And also how hot all of them some of them were, because you used to be really cool and hook up with really hot people. Why do you skip the past couple of years when talking about old hookups? Well, because nothing exciting has really happened in the “ass” department for you ever since. Even if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife now. Having a significant other is boring. No good story ever started with “my significant other and I,” right?
15. You make it a point to let everyone know something about your college experience when they meet you or else they’ll think you’re just an average person or something.
But you’re not average. You played a sport in college. You were involved in extracurriculars in college. You had a million and a half internships in college. You had SO MANY FRIENDS in college. You were anything but average. You were cool as f*ck. Like, come on everyone… Don’t be fooled by my lack of desire to go out after work now. I swear I used to be cool… in college.
