1. Deciding which picture you want to put up from whatever event you’re at. You can’t put up all of your pictures because uploading more than 3 pictures during a 24 hour period is a bit excessive. No one cares about you enough to have you blow up their Insta-feed.
2. Picking a filter. Lo-fi? Ludwig? Earlybird? Nashville? They are all the same, but they all so different. How are you supposed to decide?!
3. Trying not to take an hour picking a filter. IT’S SO HARD. It might look rude that I am glued to my phone and not interacting with any humans at this bar, but I am just trying to choose between Ludwig and Lo-fi.
4. Deciding whether or not to delete a photo after it gets less than five likes in one hour. So one time I was out with my younger brother and his friend. They posted a photo to Instagram and for THIRTY MINUTES debated out loud whether or not they should delete the photo because it did not get 50 likes within the first 15 minutes. LIKE WHAT?! If one of my photos got 50 likes I would literally celebrate by streaking through the quad and up to the gymnasium.
5. Wondering why you don’t get as many likes on your pictures as so-and-so.It’s like my pics are just as cute as everyone else’s. My pics are just as smart as everyone else’s. People totally like me just as much as they like everyone else. WE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST STAB INSTAGRAM.
6. Panicking that you’re going to accidentally like someone’s photo while scrolling through your Instafeed. You can’t physically like something when you don’t actually like something. But it’s so scary thinking that you might have. And there’s no way to tell. THE HORROR.
7. Panicking that someone else is going to accidentally like someone’s photo when they scroll through your Instafeed on your phone. “OMG DON’T LIKE ANYTHING,” says everyone before they pass over their phone to anyone.
8. Deciding whether or not to follow someone on Instagram. On Facebook you can be friends with anyone and everyone. But on Instagram? No. It’s just so… personal. Like, you can be friends with your ex on Facebook but you cannot follow your ex on Instagram. Makes no sense.
9. Deciding whether or not to like someone’s picture on Instagram. Do you really like something or are you just liking it “FTL” aka “for the likes?” And what if you actually like someone’s photo, but you’re not sure if you are close enough to actually like their picture? WHY ARE THESE DECISIONS SO HARD? IT’S FUCKING INSTAGRAM.
10. Deciding whether to post something to Facebook that you’ve posted on Instagram. The decision is usually “I’m going to post this on Facebook” unless of course you’re a youth… then you probably don’t even use Facebook.
11. When someone posts a picture of you, but a with a filter that makes you look horrendous. The person who posted the picture look good of course, but you… Nah. Instagram is the most vain app ever.
12. When someone reposts the same picture you posted, but gets more likes. Secrets out: You are really pathetic.
13. When teenagers post blurry pictures of clouds and get more likes than a picture you took of a beautiful sunset. You suck. And you are also old. Like, can someone please explain to me HOW YOU GET OVER 50 LIKES ON A PHOTO? AND THEN HOW YOU GET OVER 100 LIKES? SOMEONE TELL ME PLEASE.
14. Realizing how old you actually are because you are not the target demographic of Instagram. You are to Instagram what your mom is to Facebook. Don’t even get me started with Snapchat…
15. When Kim Kardashian blows up ya feed… with selfies. NOOOOOOOOO. But you still follow her, so whatever.