This weekend, I moved to a new apartment. After three years of being held in captivity in a dark, carpeted center for ants in an area heavily populated by college students, I finally #upgraded down the street to an area heavily populated by restaurants, shopping, Jews (aka my people), and real live adults — some even with children.

The transition has been fantastic so far. Believe me when I tell you that having natural sunlight come into your apartment is a game changer. And the whole hardwood floors over carpeting thing… another game changer. The only drawback is the fact that since the apartment is much bigger, the walk from the couch to the kitchen is longer, BUT it only takes me three minutes to walk to Pure Barre as opposed to the 20 minutes I used to spend driving around in circles trying to find parking at a meter that accepts credit cards because who the fuck carries coins anymore? I cannot confirm whether or not the sole reason I moved to this location was to be within a 5 minute walk of my workout ritual, but I can confirm that it sorta kinda had something to do with it.

That and the carpeting. And the lack of sunlight. And the limited space to chill. And the whole being 26 still living among college students.

Even though I’m super happy about the whole new apartment thing, there were (and are) many struggles that took place throughout the process. Like, you know, the fact that my apartment is now covered in boxes and bins that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH.

These struggles also weren’t exactly new, so chances are you have experienced them too. Here are the 15 struggles of moving — from the apartment search to the decorating frenzy:

1. Finding the time to search for apartments. Seriously, this is some time consuming shit.


2. Dealing with realtors who show you places that you already said you would have no interest in. I said no garden level apartments. Why are you showing me a garden level apartment?


3. Getting turned down after completing an application for an apartment because you either didn’t act fast enough or you have something wrong with your credit. Or, if you’re in your early 20s, your parents won’t co-sign an apartment with you because you’re too old but yet the landlord insists you need a co-signer. WHAT IS THIS ADULT THING YOU SPEAK OF AND HOW DO YOU BECOME ONE WHEN THE PEOPLE WON’T LET YOU DO ADULT THINGS?


4. Putting down your entire savings account to secure an apartment when you do find one you actually like. Goodbye social life.


5. Figuring out how you’re going to move. You can’t afford movers. You just spent all your money on the down payment for this apartment. And all of your friends are apparently “busy.” And your family “isn’t around.” Wahhhhhhhhhhh, life.


6. Packing. And then giving up on packing and throwing everything you see into trash bags and calling it a day.

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7. Cleaning your disgusting apartment after you have moved everything out. Never have I ever seen so much dust.


8. Having no where to sleep the night between the day you have to be out of your old apartment and the day you can move into your new apartment. Unless you beat the system and figure out how to have two apartments in one day, which in that case, you go Glenn Coco.


9. Trying to move a couch up a narrow staircase.


10. The never ending amount of trips you have to take bringing boxes into your apartment.


11. Pulling six muscles in your back after running up and down the stairs six trillion times.


12. And after you’re done moving in… Unpacking. AKA the worst thing in the world.


13. Not finishing unpacking for at least a week. And coming home from work every day to do this instead…


14. Racking up a shit ton of credit card debt because you need new shit for your apartment AND YOU NEED IT NOW. Sure you kind of need to get lighting for bedroom, but decorative pillows for the couches are just so much more important at this point. And no, you still haven’t unpacked yet. #Priorities


15. Coming to terms with the fact that this apartment is going to be a work in progress. You can’t finish unpacking, furnishing, and decorating the place in a week. This is going to take time. At least you have a new project. The problem: When are you supposed to to find the time for this new project? The struggle may be real, but remember this:


Once you are settled in (if you are EVER actually fully settled in), it will be worth it. You’ll be happier at your new place and you’ll come to find that getting shit done is easier when you’re happy. I swear. THERE IS A REASON WE GO THROUGH THIS SHIT GUYS. YAY MOVING.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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