1. What excatly did the McCallister’s do for a living to be able to own a house that big and fly first class, nonstop to Paris? I need a career change.
2. How come no one finds it weird that a random cop is standing in the foyer asking about the security system?
3. Home Alone first premiered in 1990. Shit, we’re old.
4. Fuller is Macaulay Culkin’s little brother. Mind blown.
5. I mean I get there are 11 kids but how could a mother really forget her son? Worst mother award goes to.
6. Who is going to feed Buzz’s tarantula while everyone is gone for a week? How irresponsible.
7. What the hell are Crunch Gators?
8. Who is Kevin talking to in the mirror? What a nerd.
9. Let me get this straight, you mean to tell me that every single person on this block is on vacation? How is it that not one single neighbor has noticed a sketchy ass plumbing van in the McCallister’s driveway? Like, Oh, I don’t know Old Man Marley, he’s still in town scrapping ice off sidewalks and shit.
10. I don’t know about you but when I was 8 and home alone, the last place I thought about going to was church.
11. An 8-year old is a better bargain shopper than you. Get your shit together.
12. How exactly did Kevbo run a piece of rope from his house to the tree house? I mean I’m just saying.
13. Kevin McCallister is your spirit animal.
14. This is what Buzz looks like now. Woof.
15. Your favorite movie quote is 24 years old.