In college, Halloween was the most ridiculous 3-9 day bender. The amount of days spent celebrating was due to what day of the week Halloween fell on, so – for instance – when Halloween was on a Wednesday we had FIVE different days to dress up… Meaning we needed five different costumes. This was completely different for the boys, though, as they wore the same costume every night they went out for Halloween… if they even dressed up at all. But for us girls, it was our time to shine.
This year, Halloween just so happens to fall on a Wednesday. This would be exciting if we were still in college, but we are not… so, like, it’s kind of ‘whatever.’ What are we supposed to do? Do people actually go out on Halloween night at our age? How many nights are we allowed to dress up for it? Just how skanky can our costume(s) be? Is being in a costume still an excuse for a one night stand with, let’s say, Michael Jackson? We are at a weird age, my friends. Of course if you JUST graduated, you are totally capable of pretending you are in still in college. Go out, get crazy, and hold on to those last couple inches of college madness (please, do it for me). But what about those who didn’t just graduate… but aren’t, like, anywhere near getting married and having kids and being all grown-up and sh*t? What do we do?
Since we’re not in college, we can’t just get dressed up and know that there will be some party we can go to. We kind of have to make plans in advance (yuck). But what if no one is around? What if no one is having or can have a party? What if our apartment is a center for ants and we can’t have a party ourselves? What if we’re completely over the bars in our area and don’t feel like waiting in the way-too-long lines to pay a way-too-high cover at a way-too-overrated bar to show off our costumes to complete strangers. I guess the only thing to do is… pretend we are still in college for a day (or two) and be totally fine with this whole post-college Halloween thing.
Post-college Halloween is tricky, but it’s do-able. And with only 15 days left until Halloween night – and only 10 days until Halloween Weekend #1 begins – it is time to start thinking costumes (if you haven’t already). I was never into buying one of those slutty little cliche costumes because they 1. weren’t original and 2. were expensive. So instead I take the DIY route and create my own clever costumes each year. No, I don’t sew myself together some insanely awesome costume (but I would if I could). I just buy some stuff from the nearest party store, or use what I already have, and be something funny, creative, and – yes- a little bit risk-ay. For me, I most likely won’t be dressing up as much as I did in college this year because – let’s be serious – I don’t have as much energy, willpower, and money to rage as hard as before. I also don’t have the time to create as many costumes – I don’t even know if I have the time to create ONE Halloween costume. Oh, and I have to, like, work on Halloween. Bummer. But I have thankfully developed a list of 20 costumes that can easily be created (well… most of them) meaning not a lot of time and money has to be put into them…
Here are 20 Halloween costume ideas I thought of (and found online) for 20-somethings!
1. Fat Missy Elliot in a Trashbag: If you can’t stand the rain, this costume is for you. It’s funny, you can make it sexy if you’d like (but you don’t have to), and if it’s raining (or snowing… because it did last year), you’ll be in the clear. I highly recommend this costume.
2. Lil Kim at the VMAs circa 1999: Yes, this is the outfit where Lil Kim wore a one sleeved pants suit that exposed her left breast – and a pasty to cover her nipple. You could even have a friend be fellow presenter Diana Ross who gave the boob a little feel on stage. Or you could put a group together of 90s rappers in wild outfits (involving the above Fat Missy Elliot). OR you could get a group together and be…
3. Wild Outfits Strictly From Awards Shows (group costume): Britney’s nude outfit… Britney’s snake outfit… or you could combine both and be naked Britney wearing a snake. Lady Gaga covered in meat. Howard Stern’s exposed cheeks. Katy Perry being Katy Perry. The list goes on.
4. Zoltan from ‘Dude, Where’s My Car?’: Yup. The alien-loving freaks from this Sean William Scott moron fest that featured a llama… i mean ostrich. All you need to do is find some bubble wrap and cover your entire body in it over a black tank and black shorts. You can also wear some glasses to make yourself look super nerdy. And of course you must exclaim ‘ZOLTAN!’ while putting your thumbs together to form a Z.
5. McKayla Maroney: Wear warmups, do a cartwheel, wear a medal, and act like you’re not impressed. Mouth to the side, not giving a f*ck. It’s pretty easy.
6. Seth, Evan, and/or McLovin from Superbad: This is easy since the movie took place over the course of a day. Don’t shower, wear similar/matching outfits to the boy you’re being, look extremely confused, and act awkward. If you’re being Seth, put a little ketchup on your leg to look like you got period on it. If you’re being McLovin, get awesome glasses and create a fake ID for yourself using, like, Paint or something. Ha.
7. Fembots from Austin Powers: You will need a big blonde wig and a bad attitude. If you’re thin enough, you can dress like the half naked Fembots who wear metallic bras and extremely short metallic shorts. Or you can wear the little pink see-through 70s nightgown that has tons and tons of pink fur over the boobs. Since it’s see through, you will need pink booty shorts or whatever underwear you’re comfortable wearing under it… and little heels with more pink fur. THEN you will need some sort of gun to come out from the fur. You can either put it there permanently or contact a science friend to figure out how to make the gun go in and out of your fur… or metallic bra. *BONUS* Have someone be Austin. Groovy baby.
8. Psy: You can Gangnam Style all night. Just wear a ridiculous suit and bow tie with sunglasses. Bonus points if you’re Asian.
9. Justin Timberlake at age 19: This is a money saver. Hide your hair. Grab some ramen noodles. Bobby pin them to your head. Done. You can also wear blinged out earings and a chain… and, like, a plain blue t-shirt. It’s. So. Easy. If you want, you can have a friend or significant other be Britney at age 19 and be a couple (that couple costume would be 10x better if the guy was Brit and the girl was JT – just saying).
10. Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem (group costume): If you have no idea what this is, think back to your childhood (slash your parent’s childhood… or when they were our age… whatever) and remember THE MUPPETS. The Electric Mayhem was the Muppet rock band and they were totally badass. There was Dr. Teeth, Animal (who was f*cking nuts), Janice (who was super cool), Sgt. Floyd Pepper, Zoot, and Lips. You could get a group together and be all of them or you could just be one of them. You would really just need a wig, some face paint, an instrument of choice, and a badass attitude.
They did it…
11. Bananas In Pajamas: This show was actually bizarre, but the theme song was one for the books. Dress in striped pajamas (you might have to buy some from like Target or Walmart – oh well… get over it). Wear some sort of yellow hat with a brown stem on it (you can easily make this). Wear long yellow socks/leggings if you dare. And then walk down some stairs. Comfort and hilarity mixed into one. Love it.
12. Men In Black: Well, this is easy. Wear a suit, wear sunglasses, act mysterious, and pretend your iPhone can erase people’s memory. Oh you think we just hooked up? Think again.
13. The Tanning Mom: Go spray tanning for the next 10 days or paint yourself orange, wear a leather jacket and bow thing in your hair, carry around an orange painted doll, pretend she’s your daughter, and tell everyone you never took her to the tanning salon. Ever.
14. Tickle Me Elmo: When this toy came out, people beat people up over it – literally. It was the hottest thing to hit the market. And yes, this was before iPods and iPads and inexpensive cell phones. This is because Elmo is the sh*t. And if you want to be Elmo for Halloween, but need to spice it up and be something ‘hot,’ channel your inner 5 year old and be Tickle Me Elmo! You can wear a small furry red dress, a furry red hat, an orange nose, and furry red slippers. It’s Elmo 2.0. Of course you must have a sign that says ‘Press Here!’ in an appropriate place and then laugh when people press it. Hehe.
15. Pinata: If you want to get hit (on) this Halloween, this costume is for you. Grab a leotard or strapless dress (preferably nude) and wrap multi-colored crepe paper around yourself in patterns (depending what look you’re going for). Then you can either put horns on your head… and just put the head of a real pinata on top of your head – attach with bobby pins or make into a party hat. Not many people have real pinata heads, but I just so happen to. Perhaps this costume is calling my name… You can also make an opening in your outfit and tape candy to yourself. Be sure to carry around a bat. Beware of bruising, though, as drunk people may actually forget you are a person and hit you a little too hard.
16. The Gang Bang Guy from Old School: This works best if you’re Jewish. You’ll need a Jew fro, a necklace/chain with a Hebrew letter, a maroon velour sweatsuit, a mustache, and glasses. Perhaps wear or hold a sign that says… ‘Hi. I’m here for the gang bang.’ Better yet – wear that sign… in sticker form.
17. Loofah (and Soap – if you have a friend): Saw a picture of this costume online and couldn’t resist. To be the loofa, attach matte net to a dress (or shorts and a top) to make a poofy loofa-looking dress. Then attach white felt in a loop in the front. If you have a friend who wants to do it (or a significant other), they can be soap. AKA put a white box around your stomach and write soap on it. HOW CUTE.
18. Cher!: I f*cking love Clueless and if you’re reading this, chances are you do too… so why not be Cher for Halloween?! You can also grab two friends and have them be Dionne and Tai. As if! All you need to do is get a pleated plaid skirt, a matching plaid blazer, knee high socks, a faux fur bag, a large furry pen, and a gigantic ancient cell phone. You will then need to talk like a moron all night and quote the movie. Bonus points if you live in California and go to a Valley party.
19. Stick Stickley: You will need a giant Popsicle stick. As in one as tall as you… or one that goes from your hips to above your face. You will center the popsicle stick in front of your face so it covers it and wear it as a mask. Put a smiley face on your stick and there you have it – Stick f*cking Stickley – straight from 1997.
20. Fired Big Bird: He’s such a big deal right now, why not? Save PBS.
So… what do you think? Do you have any more costume ideas? Send us a picture of you in your Halloween costume (especially if you happen to be any of the above) to email@example.com by October 30th at noon. We’re having a costume contest and will be posting the winner on October 31st AKA Halloween! Good luck 😉
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