I’m not Irish. And chances are the majority of you that are reading this are not Irish either. However, does that mean we can’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Hell. No.

I have no idea why St. Patrick’s Day is a holiday. And I have no idea who St. Patrick is. All I know is that Irish people love drinking and the color green… and on March 17th (or basically the entire month of March), both are celebrated everywhere.

I wasn’t really into St. Patrick’s Day until I discovered drinking. In elementary and middle school, people wore the color green on the day of… but that was about it. ‘Cool holiday,’ I thought to myself every year (sarcasm was around at a very young age for me). But when I got to college I realized there was much more to St. Patty’s Day. Much, much more than wearing green, being pale, and drinking Shamrock Shakes. St. Patty’s Day was really all about drinking. It meant no matter the day, we had to go out and get wasted because some dude named St. Patrick said so. And we would be pretty lame if we stayed in. And no college kid wants to be lame (FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out – No thanks).

After college, I ventured back to my home state of Massachusetts… back to the land of Irish people (Boston)… And let me tell you – Post-college St. Patrick’s Day is probably one the greatest things ever invented. First of all, it’s getting semi-nice out. The weather is getting warmer, our moods are getting happier, and people are coming out from their winter hibernation ready to rage. Second, half the population is Irish (or so it seems), so everyone wants to drink… and therefore, you do too. Third, there are pub crawls, parades, parties, etc. And now that you are a working adult, you have the money for these things. And finally, St. Patty’s is like soooo college:

1. You get to have themed outfits.

2. You get to day drink.

3. You get to make ‘themed food.’

Green eggs... or play dough? Why don't you eat some and find out!

4. You get to let the celebration last all month long like your 21st birthday (once again – so college).

So although I don’t think green is the most flattering color on basically anyone, I do enjoy drinking… So, like every other person out there, I am going to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day hard because thanks to Irish people, we now have yet another excuse to RAGE. I expect all you 20-somethings to get your shamrock shake on at the pubs this weekend. Because, as told to us by many bumper stickers and home decor items,Everyone is Irish on St. Patty’s day!’


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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