Whether you’re in a relationship or not, you have to admit that Valentine’s Day is one of the dumbest holidays ever created. Even if you won’t say it out loud, I know you’re thinking it.

If you’re not in a relationship you probably think that Valentine’s Day was created just to make you miserable. ‘Like, why have a day dedicated to couples? What about those of us NOT in relationships. How do you think that makes us feel?‘ Do you really think Hallmark cares how that makes you feel? Because they don’t.

If you’re a guy in a relationship, you are probably half dreading/half looking forward to Valentine’s Day. You have to buy your girlfriend a gift (and, like, wtf are you supposed to get her?)… You have to pay for an expensive dinner… You have to buy her one of those overpriced cards and think of something to write in it… And you have to do all of this while focusing on your fantasy basketball team. The only reason you are half looking forward to the holiday is because of the sex you will hopefully receive after dinner (so you better make sure your girl doesn’t eat too much for dinner… no one likes having sex on a full stomach).

If you’re a girl in a relationship, you are probably looking forward to Valentine’s Day (unlike everyone else). You will hopefully get a nice, free dinner… an assortment of free chocolates… free flowers sent to your office… and/or a free gift from the guy you love… Not to mention a mushy card too. The only problem with Vday is that you, too, have to buy a present for your guy… so you can’t escape spending money (‘damn those single people and their savings accounts!’).

But why? Seriously… why? Why is there a holiday dedicated to romance? If you’re in a relationship, shouldn’t every day be dedicated to celebrating it? And if you’re not in a relationship, why do you need the reminder?

Why do they make us purchase unnecessary cards and spend money on fancy dinners? Why do they make us buy chocolates and gifts? And why do they advertise for that ridiculous life-size bear that is $100 – yes, $100?

WHY? You couldn't have gotten me a pair of heels with this money?

Anyway, although I admit to giving in to the hype of Valentine’s Day, I know it is actually a ridiculous holiday. I love pink, I love my boyfriend, and I love free dinners… but this would be no different any other day of the week.

So if you’re single, don’t give in to being depressed. It really is just like any other day. Just think about how moronic all your friends in relationships are being right now. And think about all the weight they’re going to gain after eating all that candy (jokes on them!). And if you’re in a relationship, get something nice for your S/O, go out to dinner with them, and tell them you love them… Sounds like what you do on the reg, right? So NBD.

Happy Valentine’s Day, 20-somethings! Remember, today is just like every other day of the week… except for some reason everyone is wearing pink (oh right, it must be Wednesday).


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.


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