#1. Just because the girls on Laguna Beach wear Abercrombie jean skirts with their UGG boots does not mean you ever should. It’s not: cool, cute, sexy or any other positive adjective.

#2. HONESTLY in 2ish years you won’t be friends with any of these people. Maybe one or two…but probably not.

#3. Nobody is going to care that you took AP English for two years.

#4. Nobody is ever going to care that graduated in the Top 10%, really, probably nobody will ever even ask you.

#5. Nobody will ever ask you what Senior Superlative you got.

#6. Wearing glitter as a substitute for eyeshadow is never okay.

#7. Wearing a hot pink velour tracksuit with PINK written across the ass isn’t fashionable.

#8. Black eyeliner on the bottom lash line never looks good during the daytime.

#9. Taking Latin is never a good choice.

#10. It’s not uncool to actually eat at lunch. Everyone eats! Except for that freaky human Barbie girl who lives on water and air.

#11. Crimped hair with pin-straight bangs is possibly the trashiest thing on the planet. (If you are confused as to what hairstyle is being referenced here Google Image “Leah from Teen Mom 2”)

#12. In real life, you can always use a calculator.

#13. Grammar is one of the most important things you will learn. Focus on that, not knowing the difference between your and you’re is embarrassing.

#14. Wearing heels to school is completely unnecessary.

#15. Girls are and will always be bitches.

#16. Enjoy eating 5 donuts and 4 Big Macs for lunch now because you’ll never be able to do it again without gaining 5 million pounds.

#17. It’s okay NOT to be cool.

#18. Boys at this age only want one thing and it’s not to spend forever with their high school girlfriend.

#19. College will be way better.


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