1. The Appetizer Guy

Forgets what money is. Buys ten different appetizers for the table.

2. The Girl Who’s Always Late

Reservation is at 6:30. Shows up at 7:15. Table can’t be seated until everyone has arrived.

3. The Vegetarian Who “Didn’t Think He’d Be Upset You’re Eating Meat” 

Usually totally fine with meat, but suddenly can’t deal with your steak.

4. The Hangry Girl

Hasn’t eaten since breakfast. On the verge of a breakdown. Will someone please get this girl some bread?

5. The Food Snob

“You’re eating a burger? How quaint.”

6. The Couple That Splits a Meal

Begins their order by saying “we’ll have the…”. Only speak to each other.

7. The Complainer

This chicken is rubbery. The service was slow. I can’t believe they sat me under this AC vent. The table cloth is a bit itchy. I asked for no ice in my water.

8. The Mooch

Doesn’t order their own meal. Eats everyone else’s.

9. The Busy Beaver

Can only stay for a few minutes. Will spend the entire time texting with someone else.

10. The Vocal Dieter 

Whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.

11. The Person Who Judges What Everyone Else is Eating

Eyes your fettuccine alfredo. Thinks the margaritas are too high calorie.

12. The Intolerant

Gluten free, soy free, peanut free, shellfish free. Insists on ordering the buffalo broccoli bites for an appetizer.

13. The Rando

Your friend’s girlfriend’s brother-in-law. That one co-worker you invited that actually showed up. Possibly only here for the food.

14. The Early Bird Diner

Is really tired. Wants everyone to know it.

15. The Enemies 

Can barely be in the same room, much less at the same table. Both resent you for inviting the other one.

16. The Cheapskate 

Comes to the fancy restaurant. Just orders a side salad and water.

17. The Person Who Underpays

Ignores tax and shared costs. Places burden of paying on friends just because.

18. The Stingy-Tipper

Has never worked a service job. Usually a horrible person.

19. The Credit Card User

Never has cash. Never pays you back if you cover them.

20. The Separate Check Guy

Meticulously splits bill. Refuses to pay 30 cents more than his meal costs.

Write A Comment