Dating In Your 20s: Ignore Him.

So you really like this guy, and for the past few weeks you have been texting back and forth on an hourly basis… but one day your inbox dies down. He is suddenly texting you less and less. You start to wonder why and constantly think of excuses to text him… AKA you heard that awesome song on the radio that he told you about last week… or you are just wondering if he got that job he interviewed for this morning. However, he sends you back the dreaded “one word response” and you’re out of creative text ideas to send back to him. SO, you give up. Another one bites the dust. Whatever.

But, NO, my friends, do not give up. Think if roles were reversed… “Ew, he is way too into me. “He’s like stalking me.” “He is trying to make this happen way too quickly.” “Why is he SOO annoying???” Yeah, that is exactly what you would be thinking.

So lay off the poor guy! Maybe he is intimidated of you. Maybe he just got out of a serious relationship. Maybe he isn’t a “texter.” Or maybe he is just not that into you. Whatever his reason may be, don’t try to force anything. If something is meant to happen, it will. So stop thinking of reasons to text him… it will only cause you stress and to obsess. And you may let another prospective boyfriend/hookup fall beneath the cracks.

Once you stop contacting someone, they will be way more interested in you – this goes for guys and girls. “Why isn’t she texting me anymore?” “Is he really not that into me?” “What is so good about her that she doesn’t want me?” We love the chase. We want what we can’t have – and are usually determined to get it. So the next time you like someone, drop subtle hints that you like them, engage in a little back and forth text – but don’t make yourself too available… You might notice the other person doing this on their end too – but, hey, that’s a good thing – at least they might be normal.

This tactic can also be used in relationships, with ex’s, and even with friends. People always say that ex’s come back – and they most often do once they realize that they are completely and totally out of your life… because how could you possibly ever get over your amazingly, awesome ex??? (sigh). And if you feel your significant other becoming distant or wanting space, start calling them less. Hang out with your friends more. Do your own thing… And they will most likely miss you and start contacting you, wanting to hang out all the time again. If they don’t miss you, then at least you figured out that your relationship sucks and is probably over.

Once you notice that someone you have an interest in does not seem so interested in you and is off doing their own thing, you will wonder why and start contacting them more. People who have busy lives are not only more interesting to us, but involve a chase. I mean, why do people cheat? Because we want what we think is not available, duh. And if this person you like doesn’t want to be with you, you’ll find out if they don’t contact you at all. If that happens, just remember that contacting them is only going to make them think you’re annoying (instead of them just not thinking about you at all).

Moral of this storydon’t text that guy you hooked up with last weekend every hour if he doesn’t respond the first time and don’t sit by your phone waiting for him to call/text you (PATHETIC). Go out, meet other guys, and do your own thing. Forget about him and you will most likely find a text in your inbox from him very soon.

Samantha Matt

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still going. My first book, AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME, is coming out in January (you can buy it right now on Amazon or from your fave bookstore!). I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Writing is fun. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @20somethingproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

8 Comments
  1. Hey! Let me first state that you really have made a marvelous resource. And there is also one thing that I would like to ask you. Do you plan to write in a professional way or this blog is just a hobby?

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  3. Loved your post, need some advice please Theres this guy that I have been texting for 2 months, in the beginning he would initiate contact and i would respond after a while we got comfortable and I started iniating mostly after 1 month via text. Then I noticed his interest waning so i didn’t iniate for 5 days so he texted me. Now we can go 5 days without texting. He intiates all the time.
    The problem is I have feelings for him, we have sexted and had phone sex, a few weeks ago, so I let all the communication to him however we planned to meet and go out on a date which he says he is too busy at work for now, I also get the impression that he is emotionally unavailable due to a past relationship. He calls me hot, how good I look, he cant understand why I am single. I dont want to seem too eager. He texted me 2 days ago and I didn’t reply. I want him to want me. what should I do?

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