Tales from the PQLC: Enduring the Engagement Barrage

Author: Jennifer Barackman

It sneaks up on you slowly. Then you start to see the signs and wham it’s upon you…your first friend’s engagement. Suddenly, the simple act of signing onto Facebook can seem like an attack, you never know what new engagements lurk around the corner. And trust me it’s normal to have that heart-sinking moment of realization that certain people have reached that step before you have, especially if that person is an Ex (we are only human). I have had friends give up Facebook because it all became just too much to bear.

I was 24 when my first best friend got engaged, then a couple of months later the second, a couple more months the third, and then came the fourth. Just like that. Bam, bam, bam, bam! Four of my closest friends all off the market and for me that meant being swept into the whirlwind of bridesmaid duties and wedding planning. As soon as I was done with one wedding I was starting to plan the next shower and Bachelorette party. Suddenly, I was living the saying “always a bridesmaid never a bride”. It’s completely overwhelming when your best friends are starting to take these huge life steps, when it feels like just yesterday you were playing house in your friend’s backyard deciding if you were going to marry Zach Morris or Jordan Catalano.

If you have never been involved in the process of being a bridesmaid it can be time-consuming and quite expensive, so it’s best to be prepared. I have heard ridiculous stories from friends about the costs of their dresses or the over the top showers they threw so I count my lucky stars my friends were so easy-going. I hope that you never have to deal with a Bridezilla, but in case you do just keep in mind you love this girl (even if that becomes harder to see as the wedding planning progresses) and that you can always get them back when it’s your turn. As you creep further into your 20’s the barrage of engagements will be upon you so here are 5 things every girl should know when they are asked to be a Bridesmaid:

  1. This is an honor.

It means that this girl wants you to stand beside her on the most memorable day of her life. You love this girl so do your best to make this time magical for her. And also, take care with the Bachelorette party planning you also want this night to go down as one of your favorite moments together.

  1. What’s a little time and money between friends?

Even if the cost and amount of commitments are wearing you down, have fun! This is the moment you and your best friends have been dreaming about since you were little girls. If you find yourself starting to whine or complain ask yourself if you would want to deal with that when it’s your turn, that should change your tune pretty fast!

  1. If you have the privilege to make a speech, write it down!

 I am extremely shy when it comes to talking in front of people, so I downed a couple of drinks to calm the nerves, and the last thing you want to do is start improvising in front of a group of people with all the secrets you know about your best friend in your arsenal. Also, most likely, you will cry and trust me just getting the words out will be difficult enough without having to maneuver through the Uh’s and Um’s if you try to make it up on the spot.

  1. It’s just a dress!

Don’t complain about the dress, even if you won’t ever wear it again. It’s not your day it’s hers.

  1. A picture is worth a thousand words.

Remember that there are photographers there to capture every moment of the special day, so unless you don’t mind a picture of you with your dress over your head as you dive to catch the bouquet or of your somewhat inappropriate dance moves with the best man, then be aware of your surroundings and don’t get too sloshy. These memories and stories will be around for years to come and you’ll have to live with that.

It’s a crazy, weird, exciting time in our lives when we finally realize we aren’t just playing house anymore and that we are making real big time life decisions. It’s quite a smack in the face with reality, but its life! Embrace it and have a helluva good time your friends only get married once (or so you hope).

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