If you missed Season 3, Episode 2 (and the rest of the series) and want a recap, read this before you read below!
Last night’s episode of Pretty Little Liars was full of unanswered questions and new-ish mysteries. AKA same old, same old.
The show opens with the girls staring at the not-so-blind Jenna, wondering what the eff her deal is. They decide to have Aria go to her house (like Jenna previously asked) so she can snoop around. It was completely awk watching Jenna play her yazz flute (Anchorman anyone?) and Aria play piano behind her trying to look for ‘clues.’ During the flute and piano sesh, Jenna asks how Emily is, refers to Mona as ‘poor little Mona,’ and casually asks if anyone suspects the girls of taking Allison out of the grave. Umm, no. Duh. After this weird conv, Aria finds a sticky note stating that Jenna would be doing something tomorrow at 4:15… It has to do with ear plugs. Like, what could she be doing?
Emily finds out she got a 94 on the exam she never finished, which couldn’t be possible. She tells Aria’s mom that someone else must have finished the test for her… to which Aria’s mom replies ‘someone did’ (Duh, it was her Emily. Shut your mouth and get over it. SMILE, YOU PASSED). Soon enough, the principal finds out and wants to talk to Mrs. Montgomery. Ezra comes to the rescue though and tells the principal he forced Aria’s mom to finish the test for Emily in front of him because he is a ‘crazy tutor.’ Why the principal laughed at this completely outrageous excuse and said ‘okay,’ is beyond me. Clearly, every one in Rosewood is a moron.
Meanwhile at the Hastings house, Melissa is home with a bottle (or two) of wine, but no baby. Spencer’s mom comes home to find both girls in the kitchen and informs them that she is going to defend Garrett (for free) because she thinks he’s innocent. Okaaaaay, Mrs. Hastings. This is not what you said last week… Perhaps this has something to do with Melissa losing her baby. Spencer gets suspicious that something weird is going on when Melissa tells her she is all for mom defending the accused killer. She tells Spencer that Garrett is the only man who ever told her the truth… The problem being that she figured it out too late. After this, Spencer does some ‘investigating’ and finds out that her mom (and sister) lied to her. She calls the hospital Melissa would have gone to after the miscarriage, but they have no records of her being there. Spencer then calls the hotel they stayed at and found out both her mom and Melissa had stayed there three extra days getting, like, facials and stuff! Oh, the lies. Obv Spencer gets pissed… but, like, how did she find this out anyway? How were both the hospital AND the hotel that idiotic? Would they really tell her all that info over the phone? Also, is Garrett actually the father like the girls think?
Hannah continues to give blondes a bad rep by going AGAIN to see her so-called friend Mona, who Hannah doesn’t think is crazy even though she is in a hospital for crazy people. Mona tried to run you over and she attempted to kill your friend. She’s obviously effing nuts! When Hannah arrives, Mona is reading a fashion magazine to a group of (crazy) people like it’s an effing book reading at a senior center. Mona sits down with Hannah (not in her room) and tells her she’s different because they changed her medications. Okaaay. She starts talking about dry lips and awkward parents, showing that she is back to her old self… Old self being STILL EFFING CRAZY because she basically agrees with Hannah that someone is after her. She tells her you can’t trust anyone these days with a smile on her face. AND asks if anyone has found Alison’s remains yet! But how did she know?!
Pissed off, Hannah goes to leave the nut house and sees Lucas walk in! Earlier in the episode, Lucas set a note from the principal that he was supposed to give to his parents on fire in front of Hannah. He threw it in the trash, clearly not caring that he may or may have just started a fire in the school. Talk about bad behavior… Caleb witnesses this whole thing and is prob thinking WTF. I mean, I would be too. What’s with all the effing psychos in this high school?!? Caleb later talks to Lucas, who speaks in Nerd meaning I have no idea what the F he meant… and I doubt Caleb did either. All I got is Mona being locked away is not the end of A. Which we knew already. Thanks Lucas.
Back at the crazy home, Hannah is greeted outside by Caleb who is clearly suspicious of Hannah and pissed off that she’s back at Radley despite him telling her not to go (b*tch doesn’t listen. give it up). Hannah thinks he shouldn’t be, which is ridiculous because she’s obviously in the middle of something really, really, really weird. While the pair argue, Lucas walks out. Hannah confronts him about seeing Jenna, to which he responds he was just trying to see if she’s actually really crazy (DUH. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?). He then starts talking like one of those crazy people who stand outside with signs saying that the world is going to end soon… basically telling Hannah she’s not safe. Hannah’s like ‘whatev’ to this and Caleb is terrified. Very normal.
The next day, Aria and Hannah hide outside Jenna’s house to try and find out what the sticky note meant. They follow a cab that Jenna gets in to what appears to be a doctors office. A minute later, the old, blue car that Emily was put in during her ‘black out’ whips around the corner with Jenna – sans blind person glasses – in the driver’s seat. The girls follow her and somehow get Spencer and Emily to meet them too. Jenna gets out at a GUN shop (wtf), and when she exits Hannah confronts her by standing in front of her car so she can’t drive (I was stunned Jenna didn’t just run her over… Hannah’s used to that by now).
The four girls corner Jenna against a fence (why this formation happened, I have no idea) and question her about her ‘I’m still blind’ lie… They never once ask why she just went into a place that sells guns though. Are you serious? That would be my first question. Jenna tells them she had to lie about being blind so she would not harmed because she is still a target. She begs the girls not to tell anyone and they say they won’t (I mean, they blinded the girl in the first place). However, who is targeting Jenna? The liars also ask her what happened the night of Emily’s black out. Jenna claims she saw Em in the middle of the road and drove her home because she was wasted and crying about Maya. However, Jenna also claims that Emily freaked out and jumped out of her car at a red light around midnight. But where did she go?!
Meanwhile, Caleb goes to see Mona… and he threatens her not to hurt Hannah. Umm, are you serious Caleb? You should probably never threaten a CRAZY PERSON in a CRAZY HOME. Are you crazy too? Mona doesn’t like what Caleb has to say and screams at the top of her lungs for a good two minutes. It was kind of like the scene in The Notebook where old Allie starts screaming when she forgets who Noah is after dancing with him. Mona clearly didn’t forget who Caleb was though. She just got pissed off and didn’t have a black sweatsuit handy to take out her anger on him.
Later that night, Spencer confronts her mom about the lies and she confirms her suspicions. She says she didn’t know Melissa had already lost the baby before she got there… but she had her suspicions. What does that mean? She tells Spencer to ask Melissa when she lost the baby… but since Melissa is the biggest liar of them all (or so we think), Spencer will have to do a little more digging than that to find out.
The episode ends with a freaky Mona lying down and singing (very well – who knew?!) while holding a Queen of Hearts card in her hand. Umm, talk about bizarre. We then cut to a table with beads, teeth, and string (remember the ‘dead girls can smile’ bracelet?!) and a gloved person putting a bottle of vodka in a giant cooler that seems to have Alison’s body bag (body most likely inside) in it. Dead Ali’s getting wasssssted.
Questions so far this season: Where is Hannah’s mom? Where is Spencer’s dad? Where is Caleb living? Where was Toby this episode? What happened with Mr. Montgomery and his way-too-young-for-him-GF? WHO IS/ARE A? And finally – when will these questions be answered? Never? Okay.