The Post-Grad Burn Book: 5. Extremely Wealthy 20-Somethings

Okay, we get it. You’re rich. You came from money and you therefore scammed your way into making (a lot of) money and/or still live off your parents. Twentysomethings are not supposed to have money. But you do. And you are putting us all to shame. You’re going to great expensive schools and having no debt when you graduate and instead about 50 grand plus in ‘graduation money.’ You’re stealing our jobs because you can actually afford working for no money and moving to a new city at the same time. You’re basically just really f*cking happy. Or so it seems you are on your newsfeed. And it’s pissing the rest of us off.

However, you really need to tone it down. I don’t care that your parents had enough money to ship you out of the country on a ‘post-grad Euro trip.’ And I don’t care that these same parents had enough money to fund your move across the country to get the job I wanted, but couldn’t get because I didn’t have enough money to move across the country without struggling (which is not something I wanted – and props to those of you who did it… and are doing it now).

I don’t care that your parents pay your rent so all you have to do is focus on what fedora you’re going to wear to the beach on Saturday and what drink you’re going to get at dinner on Wednesday.

I don’t care that your dad’s best friend owns the company you work at now. And I don’t care that you didn’t even need your college degree to get that job.

I don’t care that you got that job before you graduated college. And I don’t care that you are making more than I will make in the next 10 years at that job… And if you’re not making the money from your job, I don’t care that your parents are paying you more than I will make in the next 10 years just because.

I just don’t care that you have more money than me. I really don’t care.

Or do I?

If we’re friends – which we’re most likely not because extremely wealthy people only communicate with other extremely wealthy people. They just find each other. It’s like they have a mating call (aka all my shoes are worth $600!) – I don’t want you to feel bad for me. I don’t want you to offer to buy me drinks. Or pay for my dinner. Or throw me some money for gas when I drive us somewhere. But I mean come on… it’s not like you can’t afford it!

And I’m not saying I don’t have money. I do. I’ve always gotten help. And now I make my own money too. I just didn’t come from celeb status wealth (which is the type of wealth I’m talking about here). Some people head to college thinking they’re pretty well off until they meet people who make them feel poor as f*ck. Those are the types of rich people I’m talking about. But they’re not only rich (clearly). They’re spoiled. And if you’re parents are still paying your rent in your mid to late twenties, I would really rethink your life path. Let’s not end up like Billy Madison here.

So until I’m Bill Gates status, I will forever burn extremely wealthy 20-somethings who flaunt it like there’s no tomorrow. I mean, I work for my Marc Jacobs swag. Do you?

‘What is… work?’
Samantha Matt

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still going. My first book, AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME, is coming out in January (you can buy it right now on Amazon or from your fave bookstore!). I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Writing is fun. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @20somethingproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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