It’s an interesting thing, when suddenly, your dad wants you to date. I mean, during high school, he had this protective fatherly attitude towards every boy that came over or that I went to a dance with. The most conversation we ever really had about boys was when he would tell me that “men are dogs with flees,” or the times he would awkwardly try to guess which boy I happened to be “sweet on” that month. But recently, he is interested in my love life; and I can’t say I am okay with this change.
Now that I am in my twenties and out in the real world, my dad is actually encouraging me to date. He asks about my guy friends more often and whether or not they happen to have girlfriends. But he has recently decided to take a slightly less subtle approach, like during a phone conversation we had a few weeks ago. He was asking me about my new gym, which I didn’t think much of and I simply said it was fine. I would have never predicted what his next question would be…“So are there any studs at this gym?” I tried to just laugh the question off, and quickly said there were definitely some beefy hotties around. But apparently, this wasn’t the end of the conversation for him, because he then started to tell me I should go and talk to them sometime. Well, I don’t know about you, but I am not one of those girls who look hot while working out; unless you are using hot to describe my temperature and the amount of sweat seeping through my shirt. When my face is bright red and my hair is in a messy bun at the gym, flirting is the last thing on my mind. Although, I may be guilty of staring down at these said “studs” lifting weights because watching Piers Morgan doesn’t always make my time on the elliptical pass so quickly. But, come on, I’m only human.
So, following this interesting and slightly uncomfortable questioning from my dad, I had to break some things down for him. I assured him that I am not some shut in leper who never goes on dates or flirts with boys. Since honestly, there are different guys that come and go in my life, but he doesn’t need to know about every Tom, Dick, and Harry, and let’s be real, most of them fall in the Dick category, that I meet at a bar and go on a few dates with. It takes a lot for me to introduce a guy to my parents because I really care about their opinions. So obviously, no one worth telling them about has come along too recently.
Ultimately, I had to promise my dad that when there is an important guy in my life who I deem worthy of meeting the parentals, he will be informed. But until then, let’s just leave dating advice out of our favorite topics and just stick to discussing which bitch we hate this season on The Bachelor. So Dad, it’s adorable that you care, but don’t take it too personal when I don’t want to take dating advice from my middle-aged father. I mean, we are talking about the man who I once caught idling his car in our driveway just to finish listening and singing to Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry. So thanks, but no thanks Dad. I (kinda/hopefully) got this.