Throwback Thursday: The Pokemon Burn Book

If Pokemon went to high school…


That one there, that’s Eevee. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. I say next to her in English last year. She asked me how to spell orange.

That little one, that’s Vulpix. She’s totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels. Vulpix knows everybody’s business, she knows everything about everyone. That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.

Evil takes a human form in Ninetails. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that. She’s the queen bee – the star, those other two are just her little workers. She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.

One night, the plastics got together and created a book describing all the other Pokemon. They called it… The Burn Book. Here is it:

Hitmonchan: DYKE.

Clefairy: Fat virgin.

Lickitung: Made out with a hot dog.

Jigglypuff is a grotsky, little byotch.

Persian made out with Mr. Mime!

And so did Weedle! (so that’s where those red bumps are from…)

Meowth: Gap toothed bitch.

Slowbro: Too gay to function.

Chansey: Lying about being a virgin. She uses super-jumbo tampons., so duh — not a virgin.

Oddish: Tried to sell me marijuana and ecstasy tablets. A REAL PUSHER.

Jynx: This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met. Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!

Samantha Matt

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still going. My first book, AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME, is coming out in January (you can buy it right now on Amazon or from your fave bookstore!). I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Writing is fun. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @20somethingproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

1 Comment
  1. Guys who of you play Pokemon GO? Amazing game, yesterday i caught rare pokemon Venusaur using pokebusterbot !
    No ban so far, still using it. You should too.

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