I Got 99 First World Problems, But Being Poor (Like, Actually Poor) Ain’t One

Admit it already. You are a whiny, spoiled, entitled millennial. And you’re totally okay with that. You’re busy and you don’t have time for your phone to lose service or your sunglasses to be MIA.

Another thing you have to admit is that your ‘problems,’ although they suck for sure, are not really that bad. You actually kind of have it pretty good. If you’ve been in any of the 15 situations below, you my friend have some serious first world problems.

1. When your iPhone battery is below 5% and no one has a charger for you to borrow… and if they do, you can’t find an open outlet. BUT YOU NEED TO BE ON YOUR PHONE. Oh, the horror.

2. Deciding whether to like a picture on Facebook OR on Instagram. It’s the same picture! On two social media platforms! Which one deserves your like more? Do both? Or is that too extreme ? YOU DON’T KNOW.

3. Getting a Shellac manicure and then realizing you have to go back to the nail salon to get it taken off. But… but… that costs money!

4. Liking someone’s status on Facebook or picture on Instagram by accident and not realizing until it’s too late. The best, however, is getting a notification that so-and-so liked your picture and then seeing their like casually go away later on. Awk-ward…

5. When you’re in the middle of an intersection about to take a left turn and the ‘left turn light’ turns into a regular green light. WHY? Why does this have to happen? Now everyone across from you is zooming past you. And you’re going to have to make your turn as or after the light turns red. Ugh, don’t they get it?! ALL TURNS SHOULD BE RIGHT.

6. Dressing for the temperature outside and going to a place indoors where the temperature is completely different. Like, hello. It’s 90 degrees out and I’m in a dress. SO WHY IS IT 10 DEGREES IN THIS DOCTOR’S OFFICE?! Huh, huh?!

7. Wanting to eat leftover pizza and/or sweets at work, but not wanting co-workers to know you’re a secret fat ass who loves free food. Even if it means you’re going to go home and order a pizza to the face because you’ve now been (secretly) craving it all day. You are who you are. 

8. When you go to the chiropractor in a dress. I don’t know what else to say about this. It sucks.

9. Cleaning for the cleaning people… And then not being able to be home while the cleaning people are cleaning. IT’S A CONUNDRUM.

10. When the end of a show you DVRed or are watching On Demand is cut off before the previews for next week. HOW WILL YOU EVER KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT WEEK? Oh right, you could just watch the show next week…

11. Being behind someone in the self checkout line who keeps pressing the help button. HOW DARE THEY NEED HELP?! Why is everyone that is not you so effing dumb?!

12. Having to go to work when it’s nice out. This should be illegal. AMIRIGHT? God, I hate people who say ‘amiright.’

13. Eating too much food while you’re cooking dinner, and being full when it’s ready… and then eating the dinner you made anyway and finding out the next morning that you gained two pounds after weighing yourself. Damn your fat ass ways.

14. Having to pee after you just got in bed for the night…

15. …And then holding it in and getting a UTI. Oops!

Samantha Matt

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still going. My first book, AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME, is coming out in January (you can buy it right now on Amazon or from your fave bookstore!). I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Writing is fun. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @20somethingproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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