1. Elf on the Shelf
Can someone explain to me what the purpose of this elf? What’s he do? What is his purpose? I really don’t get it – probably because I don’t have kids and aren’t hip to the max on playing Santa which is better for the world that I don’t have offspring right now – I digress – The Elf is fun for your children who (let’s hope) don’t get on social media…soooo, the only Elf I want talked about on social media is one named Buddy.
Trying to not be a hater but I get it – you wanna share the news which you should absolutely do but just know when most people read/see it they’re gonna think…
Basically because I can’t eat it…don’t tease me.
4. Holiday Plans
Majority of us are traveling to see loved ones – you are no different than like 95% of people who celebrate Christmas. I do not need to see a list of shit you did on Christmas including your 7AM wake up call, breakfast with your nanny, AND watching A Christmas Story with your dad. Shut it down.
5. The Weather
It’s called winter. And guess what? It snows. Not new information.
6. Money Spent
Most twenty-somethings are broke. This makes you no different – no need to broadcast it and remind us that our credit card statements from holiday shopping are about to close. This does not make you a baller talking about the money you spent, it makes me want to go into a black hole and not come out.
Whether it’s losing 10 pounds for your wedding dress or looking for a new job – let’s keep the resolutions for your diary.
8. Your Presents
It’s basically bragging – which hey, if you got a Marc Jacobs bag you should want to brag – but brag in person to your co-workers and friends and keep it off social media – otherwise it makes you look like a Kardashian.
9. What Happened This Year
Miley twerked. King George was born – It’s great to reflect on the personal progress we make as twenty-somethings. In fact, I encourage everyone to do so that you see the tiny steps we make in getting smarter, wiser, and better. But what happened in 2013 and what it meant to you – should remain an INTERNAL reflection.
10. Significant Other Backdoor Brags
This need to post about them to get validation that your boyfriend/girlfriend is the best – It’s weird. They are already awesome if they recognize how awesome you are and can stand your weird quirks – THE DREAM – but keep all love notes and Romeo & Juliet moments for the bedroom por favor.