Book Review: It’s Just a F***ing Date: Some Sort of Book About Dating

dating

Have you ever gone on a date and immediately started analyzing the guy/gal to see if they’re marriage material? Or worse, have you ever declined a date because you thought you knew that he/she wasn’t marriage material? If you answered yes to either of these questions (as I have before), then you need this book!

From the witty, perceptive author of He’s Just Not that into You comes a book that only tackles dating – not relationships, not marriages. According to the authors, the concept of “dating” seems have disappeared from today’s vocabulary, and I happen to agree. Speaking from my own experiences, every one of my friends is engaged, married, in a serious relationship, or miserably single. Not one of us (including myself) is just dating people. The concept is so foreign to us: going on a date with one guy, and a different guy next weekend, and getting coffee with still another one the week after that. We seem to have stamped this practice as “trampy” and “slutty.” But why? What’s so wrong with test-driving a guy? You wouldn’t buy a car before a test drive, or rent an apartment without looking around for a while. Hell, we don’t buy books without reading the summary on the back! Why are we expected to jump into relationships with people we hardly know?

let me love you GIF

Greg and Amiira help those of us stuck in a world where dating is a forgotten art. Part One gives eight basic principles to dating, explained by both genders and with examples of successful people who have used that principle. Example: Principle #2 tells us “Get a Life, Have a life.” What this basically means is to keep yourself busy with activities and hobbies that interest you. Don’t keep your schedule wide open for that guy you met at the club last Friday night — you just met him. If he wants to really get to know you, he’ll ask you on a real date, to a restaurant, movie theater, coffee house, etc. BUT he’ll have to work around your schedule. Basically, don’t make yourself easily available; you’ll only lose his interest if you revolve your life around him. Be interesting.

The “Principles” in Part One teach us how to get dates. The “Essences of Dating” in Part Two teach us how to be on dates and what to do after. Contrary to popular belief and current trends, not every date will – or should – lead to a relationship. Only go on a second date if there’s a connection between you and him/her. In this section, Amiira and Greg literally give us the “how-to” for first dates, subsequent dates, follow-up calls, and everything that follows after in the dating realm.

Why Twenty-Somethings Should Read This Book:

I honestly mean it when I say that we, as a whole, don’t know how to date. We seem pretty well-versed in going to the club, getting black-out drunk, and hooking up with that newly-21 kite surfer in the corner. We’re good at being in comfortable, long-term relationships with our college sweethearts. We are not, however, good at real, adult dating. We’re hopeful and sometimes obsessive, especially when we don’t go on dates that often. If you’re in a secure, comfortable, and mutually happy relationship, you don’t need this book. If you’re like me, always overanalyzing every single male interaction that you have, then you do need this book. We need to keep the art of dating alive because not all of us are going to meet our soul-mates in college or high school; some of us have to test drive a few models before we find Mr./Mrs. Right. If you’re single and in your twenties, don’t fret. I myself cringe whenever I see a marriage proposal, wedding, or baby announcement on Facebook because I’m afraid I’m doing something wrong. Greg and Amiira have proven me wrong; I’m not doing anything wrong except not dating. Carpe Diem, singles!

Samantha Glassford

A born-and-raised Jersey girl with a chronic case of wanderlust, Samantha spends her days reading, writing, and planning adventures. She currently teaches classes at the community college while living at home with her parents, trying and failing to become a part of the proverbial real world. Her dream is for someone to pay her for writing and traveling, but in reality she'll probably be teaching forever. Follow her mundane musings on Twitter @SamanthaG2012, and check out her personal blog, wanderlustingmillenial.blog.com

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