1. You check Gawker and BuzzFeed and maybe even BroBible to get your news.
2. Or you just check Twitter. 140 characters are all you need to know what’s going on. An article? That’s way too long.
3. The thought of staying at your current job for more than 2 years doesn’t sit well with you. Never satisfied. Always looking for the next best thing. The millennial motto.
4. You’re in debt. And you don’t know how to be NOT in debt. I’M LIKE SOOOOO BROKE. LET’S GO TO STARBUCKS.
5. You bought this shirt. Jk. I hope you did not buy this shirt. No white t-shirt should ever be worth $120. I don’t care if it was made by Kanye West… or some people in China who sewed his name on it. NONETHELESS, the fact this shirt is real does not surprise you. In fact, you probably know someone who would buy it.
6. The dilemma of whether or not your should write happy birthday on your ex’s wall makes you more anxious than the fact your credit card is maxed out.
7. You don’t like being told what to do. I do what I want, bitch.
8. You drink craft beer. OoOoOoOoOo beer festival? Count me in!
9. You don’t see the issue of paying for multiple, overpriced workout classes in addition to your gym membership. Even though you’re, like, really broke.
10. You eat green. Green juice, spinach smoothies, kale, juice cleanses. You’re all over that shit.
11. But you also eat pizza. Which kind of cancels out all those greens you eat. But whatevs.
12. You abbreve. It’s not even cool anymore. It’s just… normal.
13. You always have so much to do. But you keep refreshing Twitter.
14. You think people older than you don’t understand anything about social media. Because they don’t. Duh.
15. You love you some Netflix. No – you love telling people how much you love Netflix because it makes you sound cultured or something along those lines.
16. You do what you want. Not what your family wants. Not what your significant other wants. Not what your friends want.
17. Because in the end – it’s all about YOU! Duh.