How To Handle Being Hit on by Older Men at Work

Being hit on and flirted with can be great. Especially when we are single and ready to mingle – and if the guy is cute then that’s even better. However, being hit on while we are at our place of employment can be awkward. It is easy to dismiss a guy hitting on us if we aren’t feeling it because we can pull the “Oh, sorry, I’m at work” excuse. But what if this guy is 25 years older than you? And they come into your work almost every day… and they slyly hit on you every time… EW.

Okay, it’s time to put these creepy middle aged men on blast. WHY do you hit on girls nearly 30 years (30 years!! These guys are as old as our fathers) younger than you?!? When I accidentally wear my nametag upside down and you stare at my chest for a good 30 seconds with your eyebrows raised instead of just politely telling me my nametag is upside down, you can bet 150% I’m creeped out. Or when you tell me the other employees are “not as nice to look at” as I am, I’m on the verge of saying “get the f*ck away from me”.

But we can’t say “get the f*ck away from me” to someone at work, can we? What are we supposed to do in this situation? We can avoid eye contact and conversation but that doesn’t mean these guys won’t get their comment in. And they know exactly what they’re doing. They say just enough so we know they’re hitting on us and they just barely cross the line.

So we bite our tongues and cringe every time we see them walk through the door. We pray that someone else, a coworker or random person, is around us when they approach us to make us feel more comfortable. But when we are alone they always seem to make their way over to us. Or when they don’t say anything at all and just peer at us from around the corner…gross.

Ew

So there are basically three options on how to handle this situation:

  1. Say nothing. And I literally mean don’t speak to them and don’t make eye contact. If they try talking, be as short as possible. This is a more passive way to go about dealing with old creepers, but it could potentially work. If we don’t give them attention maybe they will stop giving us attention.
  2. Talk to a manager. If you work for a trusting and reliable manager, this is a great option. If an employee is feeling harassed and uncomfortable at work, it is the manager’s job to make sure that is not the case.
  3. Say something yourself. Call him out on it. Make him know (even though he most likely already knows) that he is being inappropriate and you don’t appreciate his comments. You could always add that you are willing to speak to management if he doesn’t stop.

No matter which way we handle it, I hope these guys think about how they would feel if their daughter was being hit on by a guy their age. They’d probably hate it. They’d probably want to say something along the lines of “what the hell is wrong with you?” So what the hell is wrong with these guys? The truth is I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with them. They’re men. They look at girls and for some reason they think it is okay share with us what they are thinking when looking at us (and by the way, they are probably sharing a censored version of their thoughts…)

You would think these men should be mature enough not to share their secret thoughts with us younger girls. But some people (*cough* boys *cough*) never grow up. On that note, I would like to thank and show appreciation for the males, both young and old, who can control themselves and not share thought they have about a woman. Even though we know you check us out from time to time and maybe stare at our back side, THANK YOU for not making it obvious and not hitting on us every time.

And finally, to the middle aged creepers – go hit on somebody in your own generation. K, thanks.

 

Kristen Malm

Kristen Malm is a twenty-something year old Monmouth University graduate with a B.A. in English. After living on the Jersey Shore for 4 years, she is back home in CT looking for what to do next. She is obsessed with coffee, Gossip Girl, and brunch. She is also a seasonal (spring & summer) sushi and fro-yo addict. Kristen has joined in on the crossfit trend and may or may not become addicted…we will see (she probably will). Kristen enjoys history (it was her minor in college), traveling (she went to Ireland with high school classmates and England with college classmates), and watching MMA (there is just something about the anticipation of a person possibly getting knocked out…). She cares for her cat like its her child and loves listening to Spanish music even though 99% of the time she doesn't know what they are saying. Follow her on Instagram @kristenamalm !

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