The “Basic White Bitch” (BWB) lifestyle has gotten quite a bit of internet attention this fall. And, it all leaves me wondering: how basic is this lifestyle if I can’t afford any of it? Let’s delve into this with some of the basics of being basic:
1. Fancy coffee. Fall is in the air and basic chicks everywhere are drinking pumpkin spice lattes. You can’t just drink any PSL. To be a true BWB you must shell out $6 for a venti from Starbucks. I was feeling crazy last week and ordered one. Then I couldn’t afford lunch.
2. Designer bags and shoes. BWBs have designer handbags and shoes. If you’re not donning a $400 labeled handbag and ballet flats, you’re probably not basic. My one pair of designer ballet flats are the most uncomfortable shoes I own. WHY?
3. Weatherized boots. It’s getting cold y’all. That means it is time to bust out the UGG and Hunter boots to keep the 60 degree temperatures at bay. These will both set you back a few hundey and I have neither. Mostly because I live in Georgia and it is hot as f*%! 9 months out of the year.
4. Trendy workouts. Working out isn’t really working out unless you’re wearing $80 leggings and paying a month’s worth of rent for barre classes. Can you even get into a barre or yoga studio without appropriate Lulus? Probs not, which is why I buy my spandex at TJ Maxx and am a member of the Y.
5. Well-traveled. Anyone who’s anyone basic effing loves London and Paris and probably studied abroad there. You’re also obbbb-sessed with accents from said destinations. While I am a sucker for a good accent, I can’t justify taking out a small loan to fly across the pond.
To sum it up, the day in the life of a BWB is anything but. You’re extravagant and elaborate and everything I hope to be. So go on with your basic lifestyle; the rest of us are just jealous.