1. You complain about the winter being too cold and the summer too hot
We get it, you hate being cold and you hate sweating. You and everyone else but there is no need to type a 10 sentence long rant on Facebook about it. Move already! You’re annoying.
2. You hashtag everything
We get it, you want likes on Instagram. You and everyone else, so get in line. I mean maybe its just me but what does #tree #sun #sunshine #clouds #beautiful #grateful #happy #frog have to do with this picture of your boyfriend’s shitty, new car? You’re confusing and annoying.
3. You Instagram pictures of your Tinder encounters
We get it, Tinder is full of creeps. I would have hoped you would have learned that by now, but no, you must litter my feed with pick-up lines from the terminally undateable. Just delete the app already. You’re annoying.
4. You Instagram a picture of you deleting Tinder
We get it, actually you know what, this one is pretty self explanatory. You’re annoying.
5. You hashtag #fitlife when in fact you live a #fatlife
We get it, you know how to take a flattering picture of your stems on the leg extension machine. #fitlife #fitfam #legday #eatclean
But you do realize you don’t live a #fitlife right? I mean come on, you just posted a picture of you drinking several chemically flavored margaritas at Chili’s. #youreannoying
6. You tag yourself at your local Planet Fitness
We get it, you work out. There is no need to tag yourself at the gym everyday. Go the gym for yourself, not for likes. You’re annoying.
7. You post too many selfies on Instagram
We get it, you look good today, after you filtered the crap out of your picture. I know what you look like, I don’t need a daily reminder. Your face is annoying.
8. You treat your Facebook status updates as if they are AIM away messages
We get it, you’re busy. Up and at ‘em, grocery shopping, getting my nails did, Starbucks, followed by movie with my bae. Get at me. No I won’t get at you. Get off my Facebook. You were annoying on AIM 8 years ago and you still are now.
9. You retweet everything on Twitter
We get it, you don’t have the mental capacity to construct a clever tweet in 140 characters or less, so in order to keep a presence you just retweet everything. You’re dumb and you’re annoying.
10. You share too many quizzes on Facebook
We get it, you really, really, really wanted to know what Disney Princess you are most like. Here’s a quiz idea for you, What Disney Princess should I be more like? Answer: Sleeping Beauty. Go take a nap for 10 years so I can stop seeing your damn quiz results about how well you know Seinfeld. You’re annoying.
11. You Snapchat a picture of your large iced coffee every Monday morning
We get it, you’re tired because it’s Monday. You had a long weekend and you need a giant coffee to get through your 9-5 grind. You’re annoying.
12. You Instagram a picture of your Starbucks’ Caramel Macchiato
We get it, you love Starbucks. You and every other white girl on the planet. You don’t need to Instagram a picture of your diabetes inducing, mid-afternoon pick me up. You’re annoying. And Basic.