In true Bachelor fashion, ABC somehow found a way to stretch this show into three hours (not good for my liver on a Monday). The first hour was a “countdown to limos.” What? Why? This makes no sense. Yet, I watch. We caught up with a few Bach alums, including: Sean and Catherine, Andi and Josh, Lacy from Bachelor in Paradise and Nikki.
Things we learned from these 60 minutes:
- Sean and Catherine are normal.
- Andi and Josh seem to have changed their tune from a quick engagement to taking their time. Andi awkwardly massaged Josh’s back the entire interview – and cameras awkwardly zoomed into it.
- Lacy is still dense. Marcus is still hot.
- Nikki defended her relationship with ex- Juan Pablo and insists he is a great guy and they had something special. Chris Harrison tries about 10 times to get her to trash him. She didn’t. Good for her for taking the high road. I guess.
FINALLY it is time for Prince Farming. 15 girls arrive. There is an awkward 15-second hug, a fake human heart, a cowgirl and a secret admirer. And gasp! That’s it. 15 girls? This can’t be. Oh, but it is. The girls collectively freak out that there are not the standard 25 contestants and the tension builds. Chris mingles. Girls continue to freak about the lack of contestants. Chris mingles and drops comments about how he couldn’t possibly handle more women. The suspense, y’all.
SURPRISE! 3 more limos arrive bringing miss piggy, a flight attendant, motorcyclist and karaoke singer. Original 15 girls continue to freak. They head inside, make some small talk, dirty and punny jokes about farming and drink. and drink some more.
Cocktail party and rose highlights:
- Tara. (the cowgirl) is hammered. He picks her. Because, who can’t resist a whiskey shooting cowgirl?
- Ashley. She has a strange face and starts talking about onions and picks a pomegranate. She gets a rose, thus proving ABC has a heavy hand in rose selection. Weirdos bring the drama and the viewers.
- Kaitlyn. She’s the one with the dirty jokes and elbow tattoos. Chris seems pretty smitten though and she’ll live another day.
- Britt. (the hugger). They have a deep connection and makeout on the first night. Either this is a bit slutty, or just complete
lustlove at first sight. Spolier alert. She gets the first impression rose.
- 22 girls received a rose and he sent 8 packing. But another Bachelor cliffhanger– we get a glimpse that one girl may try and come back. Scandal! Shock!
My front-runner is Tracy. She is pretty, a teacher, an appropriate age (29) and seems even-keeled.
Other things that happened:
- There was a plus size model. ABC always throws in some racial diversity, which I saw none of, so I guess that is why we got the curvy model instead.
- The odd jobs and dense bimbos are a plenty this season! But really, who else would sign up for a chance to
move to an Iowa farmfind love on national TV.
- There were sad stories and single moms.
- A lot of farm/love analogies from Chris and Chris.
The season preview showed lots of farmland, snow and wooded areas. Perhaps no exotic and extravagant trips this year? Best get the ladies ready for life on a farm.
With the lack of quality girls and fairly normal bachelor, this season should be pretty decent.