Its 2015, which means that the gyms are all packed with people determined to lose those New Year’s Resolution 10 pounds. No biggie right? You call up your friends and hit the gym together to kick start the year. Except that your friends have already put in that time at the gym, so you’re left on your own. Granted this is a fate worse than if you’d just been told that America was banning coffee. However because it’s 2015, we brave on and this is what an experience at the gym for me, myself, and I is like.
- I’m about to enter the Hunger Games aren’t I?
It might as well be, I mean you’re greeted at the reception desk by two of the fittest people alive and they look at you the way you look at your paycheck. I get that they’re job is to welcome, but when I’m flying solo, I’d like to be as under the radar as possible.
- So many MACHINES.
Am I in Star Wars: The Fitness is strong? It’s not so bad when you have a friend who can take the machine next to you and motivate you. But when you are surrounded by a soccer mom and a high school kid who are doing more than you are, well that’s just time to walk away.
- Everyone looks photoshopped!
I’m sorry but I go to the gym because I want to one day look an Avenger. NOT because I already look like one. Like why do these people not sweat? Don’t even get me started on how everyone also happens to be dressed in matching Nike work out attire, it’s the gym not the U.S. Open.
- My treadmill game is seriously weak.
I can be running on this treadmill, feeling accomplished and super pumped because I’m doing it on my own but next to me the Flash is doing well the Flash and not a bead of sweat to be found.
- Couples gym though.
No hate, but it’s bad enough that I’m here alone. I don’t need or want to see couples making out across the elliptical machines.
- Enough with the over sharing.
When you hit the gym solo, the only words you get to hear are coming from Beyonce in your bass pounding headphones. That being said, my patience for hearing your fitness goals isn’t too forgiving when I’m on my own.
- I’m just say going to say no to classes.
Again with a friend, piece of low-fat, gluten free cheesecake. But on your own, just sit this one out. My Taylor Swift awkward dancing is best reserved for parties or at home, not in a room full of Zumba fanatics.
- Weight rooms are basically high school all over again.
This ones the worst for guys, whether they want to admit or not. Guys do not want to walk in looking like pre-super soldier Captain America. Especially when I’m at the gym alone, no way do I want to be want to be struggling to with some weights while Abercrombie next to me benches a million.
- I hate not talking to anyone.
The stranger next to me doesn’t want to know that I’m starving or that I ran 2 miles today instead of 1, nor do they want to share tips with me. This is why we take friends to the gym, this is also why you don’t go to the gym alone.
- Can I just go home? Did I actually just accomplish this? Go me!
In the end, after two hours I may look like I’ve just exited Thunder Dome, but at least I did it on my own. Next time however I will either walk to work or at least drag a friend with me to the gym. If all else fails, eat a donut.