“Cuffing season” seems to on the tip of everyone’s tongue these days. If you haven’t heard of it yet, it is the term that designates a specific season ranging from early September until March where the notoriously single “seek” out a partner to “cuff” themselves to for winter activities (mainly out of convenience). The term may be relatively new to some but according to Darwin, it is what helped our ancestors survive those long, dark, cold winters.
If you managed to carefully seek out and swoop someone up by September-ish, bravo! Double thumbs up if you manage to keep them entertained, but not too entertained, until March-ish when you can officially get back to your natural “social” self.
However, if you missed that train or chose not to take that ride, not to worry because cuffing season is still something you can participate in. Seeing as you are not cuffed to one significant person, you are free to cuff anything you please drama-free.
1. Cuff your bed.
It’s the hottest place to be any night of the week! Why would you ever want to leave if you didn’t have to? Don’t and your body and mind will thank you.
2. Cuff your shows.
Netflix is always looking snuggle with you and show you new and exciting things. Check out some documentaries or just re-watch Friends! *Do not share your account with that cuffed friend who will kick you off your own account and definitely do not watch Friday Night Lights!
3. Cuff your books.
There are some really great books out there right now and anyone who would make you feel lame about reading on a random night is probably somewhere being lame cuffed up to someone they barely like. You are totally “Not That Kind of Girl.” So when that friend offers to lend you her Kindle for the season, you should really say “Yes Please.”
4. Cuff your gym.
Another way to get hot and bothered this season, as well as the coming season, is spend some time at your gym of choice! Work that bod and sweat off some steam! You probably have a little bit of free time, so why not try something new that is almost guaranteed to pay off! P.s. a hot yoga class on a cold winter night is equally as perfect as sipping a warm Starbucks drink on a bitter morning!
5. Cuff your career.
While everyone else is worrying about his or her temporary relationship, you can focus in on your permanent relationship with your career. Holidays are crazy enough without having to worry about someone else on top of your job. Take this time to work extra hard and help others out at work, it won’t go unnoticed!
6. Cuff your family.
Realize that your family is your family and you can’t do much about it. Catch up with those who are around for the holidays! Drink up, take a family ski trip, reminisce and be the most genuine you, because you can and they have to deal with you no matter what.
7. Cuff your bank account.
Not going out and not dropping big bucks on anyone else but yourself is pretty nice. All that money that you would spend out at the bars will be just as happy as you are being tucked up in bed.
8. Cuff your un-cuffed best friends.
If you are a typically social being, you will most likely need the occasional interaction with another unrelated human. Hopefully, your BFF and you were on the same page back in September and decided to not get cuffed, but cuff each other. Honestly its pretty much the best deal! If you’ve chosen your BFF wisely, they will gladly join you in doing all of the above and won’t judge you for looking like a bum and staying in with your other baes (bed, books, food, etc.). You’ll probably be spending a whole lot of time with this person and your family will probably start to think you two are dating. But don’t worry about that, because come spring your family will be so troubled by your wild social ways they will wish you two would go back to being old grannies together.
So the moral of the story is, cuff yourself. Do you. Be open to potential suitors but if all else fails, come spring you will be well rested, educated, healthy, hot, and rich (a.k.a. the total package). You’re welcome.