As February 14th comes closer and closer, so does the dark shadow of a holiday that’s supposed to be about love and happiness. No matter what stage of the game you’re in, Valentine’s Day is always the most awkward of all Hallmark holidays. While some people eat it up, I think I’m in the majority of people who absolutely hate it. It was created to breach a lull in the holidays and make sure that consumers were still spending needless dollars on items that will either die, be eaten, or burned a few months after cuffing season. That being said, here are 42 reasons why we hate Valentine’s day.
1. There’s no way to escape it.
2. Hallmark bears are just as creepy as they are cute
3. How do you hide a creepy stuffed bear in the months that aren’t February without looking like a bitch?
4. It’s hard to find a card that says “I like you, but I don’t love you yet, but Happy Valentine’s Day anyway”
5. There is also no bear that says “Thank you for being such a great hookup buddy.”
6. You just started to see someone and wonder what the f*ck are we??
7. Pressure, pressure, pressure
8. Your expectations may be too damn high.
9. What the f*ck do you get for a guy?
10. Dinner reservations are a pain in the ass
11. Dinner comes out super slow
12. You spend much of your night hangry because you made reservations for 8 pm
13. You get to watch couples be nauseatingly obnoxious about their “love” while you’re waiting for your meal
14. Flowers are so expensive, and flowers die.
15. If you’re single, you get to watch everyone around you Instagram the shit out of their Valentine’s Days
16. If you’ve been with someone for a long time, you’ve already gotten each other everything
17. You make plans to not get each other things for V-Day but one person always caves and makes the other feel like shit.
18. You just had a fight with your partner and now have to spend a day of everlasting love together.
19. Shouldn’t you be showing each other love every day????? Why does this holiday get so hyped?
20. Pre-lingerie anxiety/workouts
21. Pink hearts and little naked babies are sort of nauseating to you
22. If you’re a guy, you literally may not know what to get a girl.
23. Everything is so fricken cheesy.
24. Candy hearts actually taste horrible. Why do they exist?
25. There is always some sort of dance/mixer/function you’re invited to and either have to worry about a date or go alone.
26. If you’re single, it’s a hardcore reminder that you’ll be #foreveralone
27. If you work in an office, every female lights up like a hungry hyena when they see a flower delivery guy
28. It becomes a competition between women for bragging rights about who has the best boyfriend.
29. You have to pretend that you care what your best friend’s boyfriend did for her for this dreadful holiday.
30. Chocolate out of a heart shaped box isn’t any better than regular chocolate. Just buy me chocolate all the time.
31. If you plan to stay in instead of go out, you have to actually cook…
32. Which usually means you need to learn to cook something more complicated than Easy Mac.
33. Eating strawberries is really not as sexy as it’s portrayed
34. Actually, you have a hard time making anything sexy
35. All of your friends are cuddled up with their boyfriends while you cuddle up with pizza
36. THE ENGAGEMENTS. OH GOD, THE ENGAGEMENTS.
37. You actually start wishing you were in a relationship
38. You start questioning why the hell you’re in this relationship
39. If you’re in college, the simplest of gestures are romantic, i.e.; “OMG he sent me Happy Valentine’s Day with a heart emoji!!!!!”
40. All of this makes you super uncomfortable, so you make fun of it and pretend you don’t care.
41. Secretly, you’re hoping that someone makes your day special because it’s nice to get attention sometimes.
42. NO ONE DOES, so this day was just a huge disappointment.