Some people find love on the internet. You, however, have found love with the internet. As in the whole damn thing. The Internet is your boyfriend. Your girlfriend. Your lover. Your best friend. It excites you. It motivates you. Sometimes it even makes you so damn angry, but the passion makes your relationship stronger. No matter what, you always go back for more. A fight could never keep you away!
If the below speaks to you, then you, my friend, are in a relationship with your phone, your computer, your twitter followers, your Instagram likes, etc. You are dating the Internet.
1. The first thing you do when you wake up is say hello to the Internet. Oh hiiiii let me check my Facebook, my email, my twitter notifications, my Instagram, my snapchat. And don’t let me forget Timehop, so I can reminisce about what the Internet and I were doing this time last year!!!
2. You eat most of (if not all) of your meals with the Internet. You eat breakfast with the Internet while you check the weather and catch up on what’s trending. You eat lunch with the Internet because, let’s be serious, no one takes lunch breaks anymore. In fact, you would rather hang out with the Internet than actually take a lunch break even if you really had the time. Then, you make dinner with the Internet. The Internet helps you decide what to make for dinner and usually hangs out with you while eat it.
3. You tell the Internet everything. When it comes to the Internet, you hold nothing back. Why would you though? The Internet is your best friend.
4. You use the Internet to get back at exes. Look at how much better off I am now!
5. You get jealous when someone else uses your Internet. Give me back my Internet, bitch. It’s you + Internet all day long. No one else can steal your Internet!
6. There’s nothing you look forward to more than coming home to the Internet after a long day in the office. The best part of your relationship: the Internet doesn’t expect anything from you when you get home. You can use the Internet however you please. The best type of S/O.
7. Sometimes you would rather stay in and hang out with the Internet instead of going out for a night on the town. The Internet doesn’t care what you guys do. It just wants to spend time with you whenever, wherever. It also thinks you’re beautiful in sweatpants chillin’ with no makeup on, as every significant other should. In fact, Drake was actually referencing the Internet in his song “Best I Ever Had.“
8. You get really upset when the Internet goes out without you. Actually, whenever the Internet goes out at all you don’t know how to function. You are sooooo Miss Dependent :\
9. You have a pet name for the Internet. Errrrr, you mean Wifi name. Same thing!
10. When you’re with the Internet, nothing else matters. Seriously – nothing. You don’t even hear what other people are saying to you when you’re with Internet. You might as well be wearing sound proof headphones when scrolling through your Twitter feed because you can’t hear anyone else speaking. And it’s not that you’re being rude… You’re just in love.
11. The Internet is the last thing you look at before you close your eyes to go to sleep. In fact, you sleep next to your computer and your phone – your two main sources to the Internet. Always together, never apart. The Internet is your bae. No shame.
