Because we all continue to watch this train wreck week after week, ABC decides to give us 5 hours of fun! You win again, Chris Harrison.
Sunday: Chris Tells All
He really doesn’t tell much at all. This is boring. Special guests are Kelsey and Andi Dorfman. We hear from Kelsey who says she did not realize she was the controversial character of the season. She swears the panic attack was real and she is not looking forward to the Women Tell All reunion for obvious reasons. Chris and Chris talk about Crazy Ashley and no, it wasn’t bad editing, she was indeed that looney.
A tearful Andi joins Chris Harrison to talk about her breakup with Josh. She says they were deeply in love, but had problems. She says the reason for breaking up is they both had strong personalities, which caused a lot of tension (read: fighting). I’m calling BS on this… I think if you love each other as much as she declares you find a way to communicate with each other. Regardless, she seemed sad and I would be surprised if they didn’t get back together.
Sunday: Part 1
We continue to last week’s cocktail party and rose ceremony. He promptly sends Megan home during the cocktail ceremony after she begins questioning the connection. He announces no one else is leaving and these six will head to his home state of Iowa.
He picks Jade for the one-on-one and brings her to Arlington. We see there is nothing there. Literally – no bars, restaurants, retail, theaters. NOTHING. She is clearly concerned. She meets his parents for about 5 seconds, attends a high school football game and roams the halls of his alma mater.
Whitney gets the next one-on-one. The other girls, Britt, Whitney, Kaitlyn and Becca, go snooping around Arlington, only to find the same thing Jade did – nothing. Carly accuses Britt of being fake, as her opinion of Arlington keeps changing. I for one think it is a lie if any of these girls say they can see themselves here.
Meanwhile, Chris and Whitney are in Des Moines, which is way more happening than Arlington. They take photos around the city and she meets his besties. We learn her mom passed away 10 years ago and she has no relationship with her father. I think it took a lot of courage and humility for her to discuss her family and he seemed to really appreciate it. I still think they have the most natural chemistry together and seem quite compatible.
Jade has something she needs to get off her chest (see what I did there?!) and decides to confide in Carly. She’s modeled nude for Playboy. I could see Chris not caring much about this. Actually, it will probably turn him on – only time will tell.
Britt, Kaitlyn and Carly get the group date card and go ice skating. During alone time, Britt tells Chris she loved Arlington. Carly lets Chris know that when the cameras aren’t running, Britt says otherwise of his beloved Arlington. Say it ain’t so! Last time a girl ratted another out, they both went home. Chris doesn’t throw Carly under the bus, but he does question Britt and she remains constant that she could totally see herself in Arlington. Kaitlyn lets him know she is feeling a little behind in the competition, and Chris reassures her of how awesome she is by giving her the rose. I love Kaitlyn, but that was his only choice, right? He wasn’t going to give it to the gosspier or gossipee.
Britt calls out Chris for not giving her the rose. Things are pretty awkward, because the other girls are sitting there. Chris does not respond well to her having this intimate convo in front of the others. Carly hopes Britt has sealed her own fate. I think Britt is going to pull an Andi and leave on her own in hopes of being the next Bachelorette.
Monday, Part 2
Becca gets a one-on-one date for the second week in a row! Reminds me of Catherine from Sean’s season… she came out of the gate a little late, but once she did she won the whole damn thing. They just lounge around and talk about seemingly normal relationship things.
The next morning Britt announces to the girls she has packed her bags and will be leaving… right after she speaks with Chris. She is so over not being number one. I get it, but you signed up for the wrong dating service, girlfriend.
Harrison tells the girls there is no cocktail party tonight. Again. Britt stops Chris mid-rose to tell him she needs a quick chat. The girls are mad. Again. They’re on pretty mutual terms about this relationship going nowhere and Chris manages to get the last word in before she leaves. Don’t cross prince farming, y’all, you will get burned. A lot of ugly tears are shed by Britt, while the other girls are silently celebrating. Will that be it? Nope – Carly goes home too. Told you, things don’t bode well for the gossiper and gossipee. I will miss Carly’s hilarious banter. Kaitlyn is the only one left who can make us laugh – do us proud!
Becca: Shreveport, Louisiana. She has a big, normal southern family. Her sister spells it out in every way possible that Becca still has her V card and is in no hurry to give it away. After meeting the fam, they head to the state fair and makeout on a Ferris Wheel.
Whitney: Chicago, Illinois. Whit has the advantage on hometown dates, as Chris has lots of family in Chicago and it is driving distance from Arlington. The stars are aligning. They “make a baby,” by visiting Whitney’s work at a fertility clinic. He meets her family and asks Whit’s sister for her hand in marriage. She says hell no. Whitney tells Chris she loves him and they drink fancy wine and makeout.
Kaitlyn: Phoenix, Arizona. While Kaitlyn is from Vancouver, her family flies south for the winter, so they’ve met in Phoenix. She takes him to a recording studio where they rap. This would be really weird for anyone else but goofy Kaitlyn. Her family is normal and she tells her mom she “hearts” Chris… she then surprised him with a billboard detailing this. Remember when Chris shared the exact sentiment with Andi? Aw, she totes gets him.
Jade: Gering, Nebraska. Chris is so happy to be back in a small, Midwestern town. Jade not so much. She lives in LA these days. The whole date is a lead up to her telling him she has modeled for Playboy. Jade’s dad cries and so do I. There is literally nothing better than a protective pop. Once alone, Jade drops the Playboy bomb and asks Chris if he wants to see the nudies. Oh, he wants. He tells her he doesn’t care that she did this and he bookmarks the page and will definitely be going back to see those later.
With four hometowns under his cowboy belt, it is time for Chris to decide who he takes to the fantasy suite next week. It’s not Jade. Either he didn’t like what he saw or just wasn’t feeling the connection. He goes with the later excuse.
And then there were three.
I think it is interesting that the only family we saw him ask about a proposal to was Whitney’s. Maybe she is his leading lady? I think it will come down to her and Becca. I love Kaitlyn, but I don’t see the connection and still think she could be a better lead Bachelorette. Next week we head to Bali for fantasy suites… will Becca give it up? I hope not.