Well my friends, the story is in the computer. Paramount Pictures just announced that Zoolander 2 is coming out in 2016 and I LITERALLY CAN’T EVEN.
Guys. I really can’t.
Here are 10 reasons I am looking forward to this sequel. And also internally freaking out that they could totally butcher my all-time favorite movie, but that is neither here nor there because as long as Ben Stiller reprises his Zoolander voice, nothing can go wrong… right?
1. MORE LOOKS. One look? Derek Zoolander does not have one look. He had four looks and now he probably has more. WHAT WILL THEIR NAMES BE? I NEED TO KNOW. THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME.
2. The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too. We can’t wait to see what the center (NOT for ants) has become today.
3. Mugatu. Will he be in this sequel or will he be stuck in jail? Because HE BETTER BE IN THIS SEQUEL. Will Ferrell actually has serious potential to be FUNNY in a movie. Let’s not fuck this one up too. MUGATU FOR PRESIDENT. And his little dog too.
4. Derek Zoolander Jr. He was already modeling at the end of Zoolander 1. Will he be internationally known in Zoolander 2? Will he be just like his dad? A model… idiot? Or a model… slash actor slash singer slash heartthrob? How old is he going to be? Who will play him? I vote Zac Efron or Justin Bieber. HUMOR.
5. Even though Zoolander was released 14 years ago (fuck, that was a long time ago) Hansel and Zoolander look like they haven’t aged a day. Male models don’t age, DUH.
6. Ben and Christine — I mean Matilda and Derek — are the ultimate #RelationshipGoal. We LoOoOoVe them in real life, so one can only hope they will still be together onscreen.
7. Will Anna Wintour be making an appearance? Because that would make the movie. And if Anna won’t play herself, can Meryl Streep? Because nothing in life would compare.
8. Maury Ballstein. BALLS TO THE WALLS. We love Maury.
Are you looking forward to Zoolander 2? Do you think it will be good? Because one time I caught my reflection in the screen while watching Zoolander 1 and I never looked back.
STILLER/WILSON 2016. LET’S DO THIS.