The 10 Stages of Friendship

I feel like I’m in the majority when I say that making friends isn’t a skill I’d pride myself in. I’m best at avoiding the signs of “Hey let’s be friends!” and awkwardly attempting to make friends with the wrong people. That being said when I look at my current circle of friends, I can see how those relationships progressed from nothing to something. So let’s take a look at the stages of friendship.

Stage #1: “You seem cool.”


Like any good rom-com, it all starts with a look. Whether they reach for your drink by accident at Starbucks, exchange a knowing look while in class, or simply walk into the room like a supernova. Your brain registers them as friend material, thus the story begins.

Stage #2: “Nice to meet you, I’m a cool person.”


Making that first verbal contact is crucial if you want your potential new friend to see you for the dope person you are. Even if it’s a dumb question about they’re coffee order or a simple compliment of their phone case, any words are better than none.

Stage #3: The Follow.


This stage has its own theme song, actually it’s a paraphrase on Barney’s but the meaning is still the same. “I follow you, You follow me. We’re on the road to being best friends. A like from me to you. Won’t you say you like me too?” The social media step carries more weight today because you’re really letting them into your circle.

Stage #4: Digits


The exchange of phone numbers is the first stage into friendship. It’s make or break because you have a chance to really communicate and figure out if your new friend is as cool on the inside as they were on the outside.

Stage #5: The Hangout


It carries the same weight as a first date, because often a friendship will last longer than a relationship. You go out of your way to impress but keep enough mystery to warrant a second hangout.

Step #6: “All my friends will know your friends.”


If you follow Taylor Swift on Instagram, you know that she’s constantly adding to her squad. Who would have thought Camillia Cabello would ever hangout with Selena Gomez? Taylor Swift that’s who. You realize that you’ve more or less made it when you’re part of the weekly group hangs.

Stage #7: Basically Family.


You’re parents know them and their parents know you. The friendship at this stage is nothing short of family, unannounced visits happen and you realize that you were separated at birth.

Stage #8: “Say something I’m giving up on you…”


At this stage you and your friend have reached a crossroads, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been friends for years, months or days, this is make or break time. This moment could have been brought on by distance, a misunderstanding, an argument or outside forces. 3 out 5 friendships make it out of this stage alive and onto the next.

Stage #9: “You’re my person.”


They’ve seen you at your lowest, celebrated your accomplishments and shared theirs with you. You don’t know where you’d be without them and are thankful for finding them.

Stage #10: Longer than your last relationship.


You’ve survived the ride, you know you’ll be godparents to each other’s future kids, be in each other’s weddings, will probably become roommates again at some point down the road and know that at the end of the day, they were their when no one else was.

Now go out there and give your best friend a hug. Or go find yourself a friend and follow the stages or just skip from 1 to 10. Just get out there and make some friends.

Peter Gonzalez

Peter Gonzalez is 21 years young and is a firm believer that the successful adult is the kid that never fully grew up. He lives on the Central Coast where the only complaint is that he doesn’t get to hit up the beach as often as he’d like. Peter is currently working on getting from his Liberal Arts degree to his Journalism degree so that he can fulfil his dream of becoming the next Ryan Seacrest/Oprah Winfrey media icon. Until then he is balancing academics while working as Barista, which gives him the opportunity to interact with a variety of people and misspelling a great many names along the way. Peter is fascinated with movies from the 1940’s to the present day, with his top 2 being All about Eve and Rear Window. He also fills up his free time with writing, creating soundtracks, taking photos of everything, Taylor Swift, binge watching and learning to cook like the FoodNetwork, but like everything it’s all a work in progress. You can follow Peter and his thoughts on Twitter @itsmepeterg or on Tumblr at

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