15 Signs Your Life Is A Hot Mess

1. You drink red bull vodka and you’re over 25.

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This gives you anxiety, but you also effing love it.

2. Your credit card statement consists of mostly booze and Seamless orders.

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3. You have walked barefoot down the street after 2am. 

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4. Your friends have a running list of ridiculous things you’ve said.

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5. You know how to use a credit card to get into a locked apartment because you always seem to lock yourself out.

This is too real.
This is too real.

6. When you say ‘I’ll be there in 10’ that means you’ll be there in maybe 2 hours.

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7. You are constantly meeting people who claim to have met you before, but you have no memory of meeting them.

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8. Your parents don’t trust to you to be around alcohol on holidays.

Sorry, mom.
Sorry, mom.

9. You don’t host dinner parties because no one will come. Everyone is afraid you’ll burn the place down and you probably will…

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10. Friends are afraid to have you over because you will break something.

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11. Your longest relationship is with wine. 

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12. People are always asking you if you’re drunk. Most of the time you are, but sometimes you’re just “high on life.”

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13. People refuse to set you up with anyone because you have the tendency to destroy everything in your path without trying.

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14. People also refuse to refer you to jobs for fear that you might not show up. 

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15. You still think you’re 21. You’re not.

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Samantha Matt

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still going. My first book, AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME, is coming out in January (you can buy it right now on Amazon or from your fave bookstore!). I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Writing is fun. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @20somethingproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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