23 Signs You’ve Been Single For Too Long

1. Your grandparents remind you at every family gathering that they’re not getting any younger.

2. They also try to set you up with their friend’s grandson/granddaughter.

3. You have a profile on Tinder. And JSwipe. And Ok Cupid. Because you’ve realized you’re not getting any younger and it’s hard to meet people IRL and I’d rather just find love at first swipe, okay?

4. And you’ll never tell your parents/grandparents about your (online) dating life because they JUST DON’T GET IT.

5. Your parents keep telling you to “get out more.”

6. Your friends are constantly trying to set you up.

bridget jones diary ben and jerrys

7. And when they invite you out and you spot a cute guy, you make a complete idiot of yourself.

8. You’re very specific when it comes to significant others.

9. Every time you talk with your mother, she asks if you’ve met anyone new.

10. Instead of spending minutes chatting with a potential significant other, you’ve sent a lot of phone calls to the delivery man.

11. Your pet is your cuddle buddy.

12. The closest you’ve come to a long-term relationship is with your Netflix queue.

13. You spend more money on wine instead of drinks being bought for you.

14. Every time you have a potential date, you don’t tell your mother for fear she’ll go all #CrazyJewishMom on you.

Just say no. #crazyjewishmom #spanx

A photo posted by Crazy Jewish Mom (@crazyjewishmom) on

15. Even if things fizzled, Mom will still inquire what happened to Josh….and Brad….and Jason…

16. Wedding season is your favorite season–it’s the ultimate singles mixer.

17. You’ve been to more weddings than dates.

18. You’ve perfected the art of cooking for one.

19. You’re ALWAYS third-wheeling your friends.

20. When you see someone you know get engaged/married/have a baby and they post it on social media, you have an immediate instinct to text the last person you hooked up with, even though you KNOW it’s not a good idea.

21. Or you fear you’ll end up alone with 10000 cats.

22. You still believe in the fairy-tale happily ever after.

23. Even though rom-coms don’t spell out the truth.

But fret not, twenty-somethings! In this day and age, technology may or may not play a factor in finding our next serious mate. Bad dates make for excellent day-after stories for your girlfriends, and your twenties are all about finding yourself and what you want in life. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea! 🙂

Hannah Gettleman

Hannah Gettleman is a bubbly twenty-something living in Chicago. She graduated in 2012 from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign with a degree in Journalism. Don't tell her that print is dying--she's already made the switch to public relations. As a Midwest girl, winter happens approximately 80% of the year, so she knows a thing or two about a good pair of snow boots. She lives for summer weather (even though she can never tan), Boy Meets World reruns, and an unhealthy addiction to dark chocolate and online shopping. She's a die-hard Chicago sports fan, even though she's well aware the Cubs always end up in last place every year.

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