Okay guys. Serious question. Why have a significant other when you can have Netflix? I mean, Netflix is kind of better than a significant other… Here’s why.
1. It ALWAYS prefers you with sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on. In fact, it will only hang out with you when you’re on the couch in sweatpants. Win.
2. You can control it’s mood… with a remote. Gurllllllllllll, you know you’ve always wanted to control your S/O. Now you really can!
3. Literally all of your friends love it. And they always want to hang out with you guys. Third wheeling ain’t no thang when it comes to Netflix.
4. If you don’t like what it’s saying or doing, you can pause it or stop it. You’ll never get annoyed with Netflix.
5. It holds nothing back. Network TV would be a horrible S/O because they hold almost everything back. Cable TV would be an okay boyfriend, but they would still hold back a lot. Netflix tho? It will give you the full monty 24/7. Count me IN.
6. It is SO cultured. Netflix knows all about politics and sports and pop culture. It’s basically the Ivy League graduate of television providers.
7. It would be a great parent. Netflix speaks fluent baby, child, teen, and adult. Kids AND adults love it. Score.
8. It loves Full House as much as you love Full House. Okay maybe this is just me, but it is bringing back my favorite television show and only a true love would do this riiiiiight?!
9. It shares more with you than anyone else. Literally. So many categories and the options under each category are endless. It shares everything with you. EV-ERY-THING.
10. It will always be there for you. Through the good AND the bad. Unless the person whose login you are using changes their password, then you is f*cked. But until then… RELATIONSHIP GAME STRONG. Netflix <3