Music festival season is upon us, and whether you’re heading to Coachella, Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza or anywhere in between, you’re bound to encounter numerous people all coming together to enjoy the warm weather and sounds of rock and roll:
1. The Fashionista
This is the girl in colored hair in a flower crown, wearing a peasant top and cutoff shorts or a floral maxidress and a huge hat. She’s the girl that all the style bloggers will feature on their websites. See Jenner, Kendall and Kylie.
2. The tweenager
This girl is a braceface wearing a bra/bikini top and booty shorts and flash tattoos galore and thinks that’s totally acceptable attire to wear to a music festival. She’s the one who makes you feel old, especially when she’s clearly there for the house music and doesn’t know that artist who’s featured on that Rihanna and Kanye West song. And we know that’s not really “water” in those bottles…
3. The hip mom
She’s here with her girlfriends getting wasted and hitting on younger guys.
4. The mom with a stroller
First off, WHO BRINGS A STROLLER TO A CROWDED MUSIC FESTIVAL? She’s the one who brings her family and listens to the kid music early in the afternoon.
5. The “forever young” dad
Dancing with his buddies drinking Budweisers and listening to the “younger” bands. It’s likely he brought his kid because he didn’t want to pay for a babysitter.
6. The frat bro
Wearing a bro tank and shorts with off-brand wayfares, you’ll find this dude with his boys at the house music stage, probably smoking some sort of something and drunk AF.
7. The Newbie
It’s this person’s first time at a music festival, so they’re scrambling to find their friends, figuring out how to get from stage to stage, impatiently waiting in line for the bathroom, and texting their friends to meet up…without realizing that they should have made a plan to meet up, strategize their bathroom breaks and know that cell service is spotty. #TipsFromAPro
8. The older couple who still believe in rock and roll
They sit through an entire day’s worth of acts just to listen to Metallica and AC/DC, and they have the best seats in the house–aka the groupies.
9. The selfie queen
She’s taking 10000000 photos and trying to get cell service so she can post them to Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat/Vine.
10. The obnoxious couple
The one where the boyfriend hoists his girlfriend on his shoulders above the crowd and blocks your view. Not the place for a 5’2″ person to be. (not that I’ve experienced this or anything…)
11. The Hippie
They’re the ones who’ll be crowdsurfing in the middle of your favorite song. They’re also outside the crowds practicing their hula-hooping and playing a harp. They don’t give a damn because everything is just so “magical”.
12. The veterans
They’ve been to the festivals over and over and never get tired of it. They’ve seen the age of the crowds shift and they don’t care how old it makes them. Don’t be surprised if you see a grandma here, she’ll make you feel young.
13. The people who are just there for a good time
It’s warm-weather season, perfect for day-drinking overpriced beers and taking in the sounds of live music. These people stand away from the crowds, knowing that even though they’re not up close, they still have the best view of all. They’re not waving their cell phones in the air, and they save their batteries to capture the scenes that matter most.