The Bachelorette Recap: Mama Says Knock You Out

It’s week two in the mansion.

For some reason, Britt, who was previously booted last week, is still on our TV screen. She’s hysterically crying (duh) as she breaks the news to her mom that she is not the Bachelorette. Just as she composes herself there’s a knock on the door. It’s that mousy guy Brady who left last week because Kaitlyn was chosen. DUN DUN DUNNNN.

Group Date 1

The first group date card goes to eight guys and Kaitlyn takes them boxing. Which seems like a pretty nice way to weed out the losers. Well done. Laila Ali joins as the mentor and the men learn they will be competing against each other. All in the name of love of course. I’m a bit horrified as the whistle blows and these men are legit knocking the shit out of each other. So much so that one guy, Jared, had a minor concussion and had to go to the hospital. Jared did not make it to the evening group date.

Source: AOL

During the evening date, she seems to bond the most with Ben Z, as he opens up to her about the loss of his mother at a young age and his kid at home. As she’s chatting up Daniel, a waiter interrupts her to let her know there’s someone waiting on her downstiars. IT’S JARED. Evidently he wasn’t well enough to go on the group date, but was well enough to make a few pit stops “on the way” to the hospital. They kiss. At the end of the night, it’s Ben Z who gets the rose.

Source: YouTube

One-on-One

Clint, the guy who gave her a drawing of Chris Harrison on a triceratops gets the one-on-one. They’re doing an underwater photo shoot and K says “pretty cool, ay?” SO Canadian and I love it. More of that please. They make out under the water, above the water and later that night on a rooftop. He gets a rose. Honestly, Clint seems a little boring to me, but I kinda see her going for the nerdy, silent type.

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Group Date 2

Another date card. Seven guys will be joining Kaitlyn for some stand-up comedy. The twist? They’re the comedians! We all breathe a sigh of relief when the hilarious Amy Schumer joins the date to make fun of  mentor the guys. Watching these guys do stand up is scarier than watching them box. To sum it up, they all suck. And JJ, who is acting totally arrogant, gets owned by Amy at one point. Here’s the clip:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsT8JCHx08U]

I was really loving the Kaitlyn/Amy duo and tweeted about it. AND KAITLYN FAVORITED MY TWEET.

I am having a lot of trouble getting into the guys this season. Do they seem boring, because they’re so outshined by Kaitlyn’s personality? Or are they truly this snooze-worthy? I had so much hope last week.

Tony, the healer with the black eye, is exceptionally awkward and his bizarre philosophical ramblings remind me of onion girl Ashley last season. Maybe we’ll see that romance play out on Bachelor in Paradise. Before the date is over, she makes out with a few more guys and gives the rose to the especially douchey JJ.

Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony
JJ grabs K first and announces he knows how much of a jerk he is for doing this, as he already has a rose. On camera, he tells us he wants to be the house villain. Y’all I can’t with this guy. He sucks in the worst way.

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Hottie Ian opens up to Kaitlyn about his near-death experience. She kisses him. Kupah calls ABC out on being the token black dude, and I cannot believe the producers didn’t edit that out. Because on one hand, YES KUPAH! And on the other hand, isn’t this ABC’s worst kept secret? He tells Kaitlyn he’s peeved that she doesn’t pay attention to him and she tells him, no it is his fault. He makes a big, irate scene, and K tells him to get the hell out of there. And you know what he says? NO. He doesn’t want to leave. We get a big “To Be Continued” across the screen as Kupah yells at a producer.

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As the credits roll, we see a *very in LoVe* Britt and Brady sharing ice cream cones and he asks her to go steady. She says yes. Please God, let that be the end of these two.

Predictions
I don’t know, I kind of hated them all this week. I think JJ will stick around a few more weeks, just for the drama and shock value. We didn’t have a rose ceremony this week, but I’m sure next week, in addition to Kupah, we will say bye to Tony and one of the guys who has never had camera time.

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Laura DePeters

Laura DePeters is a (very) late twenty-something living in Atlanta with her husband and pup. A full-time social media supervisor, she's constantly trolling the web. She's an avid SEC college football fan (war eagle!) and enjoys trying to make real life more like Pinterest-life. Can be found watching reality TV, attempting to play tennis and ransacking the clearance section. Twitter: @ladepeters | More on me: lauradepeters.wordpress.com

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