30 Thoughts I Had During “Scream Queens-Haunted House”

Another Tuesday has come, which can only mean that someone new died on FOX’s Scream Queens. Last week we learned that there were two killers, no one cared that Ariana Grande’s character went missing, and Backstreet Boys are the perfect soundtrack for angry frat bros. Now that you’re all caught up, let’s take a look at what went down last night.

1. I like how we start with a “previously on Scream Queens” because obviously I wasn’t glued to my television last week or the week before…

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2. Chanel-oween?? Hear that SNL? That’s how you spoof Taylor Swift-mas.

3. In a mansion somewhere with Meredith and Olivia, Taylor be like:

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4. Everyone loves Dean Munsch. Well, except Chanel and these two adults accusing her of attempted MURDER.

5. “This golf-frat douchebag.” Yes, Niecy Nash. Yes!

6. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days is Pete the barista-detective-journalist’s favorite movie…?

7. Somewhere out there Kate Hudson knows she could still pull off that role better than these kids in faux Halloween costumes.

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8. Please raise your hand if you don’t think Mandy will make it to next week after spilling the deets about the baby in the bathtub?

9. Dean Munsch has a lot of explaining to do, like why else does she cover up murder?

10. I wonder if Taylor Swift has her squad create her Swiftmas gifts too?

11. Zeydey v. Chanel for Kappa prez? Yeah, this isn’t going to end well.

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12. I’m concerned about Chanel’s mental health too, #3.

13. “Because we live in the age of Obama!” Chanel in reference to Zeydey running for President.

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14. A baseball bat for protection? Did last week teach us nothing?

15. Never live in a trailer in the woods.

16. She should’ve kept her mouth shut, now she’s the latest Red Devil Victim.

17. The baby in the tub was/is a girl, this narrows it down to almost everyone in the cast.

18. I can never look at cemeteries the same way again after Chad & Hester made it theirs (#Chester?)

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19. Lea Michele is literally murdering everything that was Rachel Berry with these lines.

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20. Reason #666 for loving Scream Queens? Grace confronting her dad in episode THREE! Yes for progress!

21. The Hag from Shady Lane? Dolls? Is it Cece?! Is it Uber “A”!?

22. Chanel refusing to die hungry is everything! Cotton balls for lunch is so 2007.

23. Applause to the Chanels for being secretly educated bosses and taking down the frats.

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24. So Red Devil collects the bodies and puts them in the Hag’s house? “A” looks hella amateur now.

25. Is Rachel Berry’s body in here?

26. Zeydey got taken by the Red Devil?! Where’s Liam Neeson?!

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27. So the Hag took the baby way back when!!!

28. Gigi is the Hag!! Didn’t see that one coming.

29. TRAUMATIC. INCIDENT. IN. THE. 90s.

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30. Who the hell is Red Devil #1 & Red Devil #2?

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That’s it for this week, stay tuned for next week where we find out there’s probably a third Red Devil and become even more confused as we try and solve this mystery.

Peter Gonzalez

Peter Gonzalez is 21 years young and is a firm believer that the successful adult is the kid that never fully grew up. He lives on the Central Coast where the only complaint is that he doesn’t get to hit up the beach as often as he’d like. Peter is currently working on getting from his Liberal Arts degree to his Journalism degree so that he can fulfil his dream of becoming the next Ryan Seacrest/Oprah Winfrey media icon. Until then he is balancing academics while working as Barista, which gives him the opportunity to interact with a variety of people and misspelling a great many names along the way. Peter is fascinated with movies from the 1940’s to the present day, with his top 2 being All about Eve and Rear Window. He also fills up his free time with writing, creating soundtracks, taking photos of everything, Taylor Swift, binge watching and learning to cook like the FoodNetwork, but like everything it’s all a work in progress. You can follow Peter and his thoughts on Twitter @itsmepeterg or on Tumblr at manylittletruths.tumblr.com

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