I don’t know about y’all, but lately, my social media feeds have been flooded with pregnancy announcements galore—including my own! It’s definitely been an exciting time so far, and when my husband and I finally decided to announce that we had a little one on the way, I figured I would get some interesting commentary. Because of course, whether you’re preggo with your first or your 18th, people always have something to say, right?
After our announcement, I buckled up and prepared myself for the slew of unnecessary and unsolicited advice I was about to get…and get that I did.
Want to know some of the things that will tick off a pregnant person faster than you can say ‘would you like some chocolate cake’?
1. “Oh honey, don’t eat a donut (or any other sweet thing). It’s empty calories and you don’t need to be eating that.”
UM, excuseeeee me. Hold on while I clean out my ears because there is no way in the deepest depths of hell that I heard that correctly. Right? You are not really trying to make me feel bad for wanting dessert, right? Get out of town. I’m pregnant and I’m watching what I eat, so if I want to eat a frickin’ donut—or 12—guess what, I will!
2. “I hope you’re putting on ALL of the oils—coconut, almond, etc.—because you know, you’ll end up with stretch marks otherwise and ruin your body.
I just can’t get past this one. First of all, I have stretch marks from having gained and lost weight throughout my life. I’m not perfect, but I am happy with what I look like. With what my body is going through during the stages of pregnancy, I am proud of how I look—and more than that, I am absolutely, insanely grateful that my body can grow a tiny alien. Women’s bodies are amazing things and trying to shame someone—and I mean, anyone—about how their body will look after they go through a big event is something the person saying these things should be ashamed of.
3. “You’re having a girl, you know carrying a girl will make you fat.”
You have got to be kidding me. Carrying a BABY in general will make you gain weight. There is no if/and/or/but about it. Gaining weight from being pregnant is not “getting fat.” It’s allowing your body to do what it needs to do so that you can have a healthy and safe pregnancy.
4. “You look bigger/smaller than how many months you are.”
I have had so many people remark that I look smaller than six months pregnant, and a few who have said they were so much smaller than me when they were at this stage. You guys, I am not bigger or smaller than what I should be. EVERY single pregnancy is different and my size at six months doesn’t mean it will match yours. Telling a preggo that they look bigger/smaller than the size they should be will inevitably lead to some serious anxiety because hey, us to-be moms worry about pretty much everything. So please, zip your lips & keep your supposedly well-intentioned commentary to yourself.
5. “Wow, it’s about time! Y’all have been married for a while.”
This is another one of those comments that is so unbelievably insensitive that I want to throat punch anyone who says it. We do not know the struggle someone might’ve gone through to conceive, so what in the world makes anyone feel like they should be allowed to comment on whether this is the right time or not for said people to be pregnant? There is no guarantee in life that says after 2 years of marriage you will absolutely get pregnant and get to be parents. Believe me, I know. I’ve been on the struggle bus of having a little one and I don’t need you to keep reminding me of it.
6. “Having a baby is going to take your life away from you. // Your life will never be your own again.”
Thank you, Captain Obvious. When I decided that I was ready to get pregnant and be a mom, that means I decided I was okay with not being selfish about my life all the time anymore. And also? Let me be perfectly clear when I say that my kiddo won’t be taking my life away from me. She will be adding a whole new meaning to my life and I am beyond excited for it. If you can’t get behind that same sentiment, feel free to take your negativity and exit my life. I promise, I won’t mind.
7. “You seem tired/sleepy/hormonal.”
You gotta be kidding me. I am pregnant, doofus. Which in case you didn’t know, means that I have an insane amount of hormones in me and many of those make me tired/sleepy/grumpy/ragey/weepy. If you can’t handle that, well, I’ll see you in nine months, okay?
Now friends, if you’ve ever said any of these things to a pregnant person, you have been sufficiently warned to never do it again! So off you go into the world, a little more knowledgeable about things not to say to a hormal preggo person who may or may not lose their brain on you if you partake in snarky or unnecessary commentary!
And for the record, my husband encourages my donut eating/hormonal crazy fests, so hey, hon, thanks for letting me enjoy every part of my pregnancy so far!