Before you make a big decision like moving away, everyone you’ve ever met will throw unwarranted advice at you like a desperate sales woman in a store. Some of it’s useful, but mostly not. Everybody has an opinion, or a vague relative you can get in touch with who moved there, or a scary story about a girl being mugged and murdered in the city you’re moving to. Thanks, that’s really helpful.
In reality, making a really big move away from home sends you on a roller coaster of emotions that you didn’t even know you had the ability to feel. It’s nerve wracking, exciting, terrifying, satisfying and really throws you head first into adulthood. If you’re even considering making a move away from your home town you’re already halfway out the door- now you just have a few months of daily count downs, listening to bad advice and nervous planning to get through. Good luck! I promise you, it will be worth it. Here are a few things I wish people had said to be when I did it.
1. Congratulations! This might be the scariest but best decision you’ve ever made.
2. Save as much money as you think you’ll need.
3. And double it. Just to be safe.
4. Then save a little bit more.
Because the best things in life might be free, but food costs money.
5. Even lone wolves get lonely.
Being in a new city without a selection of friends to grab coffee with, without family to pester you, and with only a handful of acquaintances even on the same time zone as you is pretty isolating and scary.
Get used to your own company in a way you’ve never had to before.
Especially if it takes a little while to find a job- that’s a lot of time spent alone.
7. You’ll have so much time for all the activities your social life had been getting in the way of!
Like watching the entirety of The Good Wife and planning (but never starting) a new workout routine.
8. When you start to forge new relationships you’ll have spent enough time alone to know the kind of person you want to surround yourself with,
and you’ll really appreciate new friendships even more.
9. Friends will probably turn up in the most unexpected places and in the strangest forms.
Don’t turn your nose up at anyone or anything because they don’t hang out at places you’re used to, dress in a familiar way, or have a background you can relate to.
10. You’re not at home anymore; so don’t just spend all your time looking for things that look familiar.
Familiarity is nice, but if you just seek out a bar where everyone has the same accent as you and never leave, it sort of defeats the purpose of moving away.
11. Doing new things all the time is EXHAUSTING.
Nobody ever really talks about how tiring moving away or traveling is. Spending an entire Saturday in bed is pretty much essential every now and then. All the exciting things your new city has to offer will still be there tomorrow. Today, stay under the covers and eat a tub of ice cream.
12. You’re not a bad friend/child/sibling for going away and not Face Timing every day.
The most important people find a way of staying in your life, even if a few weeks pass between conversations.
13. You might change a lot, or you might stay the same, but you’ll learn lots and see your hometown in a different way.
It might make you love it more, or it might make you realize that you never want to go back again.
14. You’ll miss weird shit from home- like knowing where to get the best bowl of noodles in any given neighborhood, or which grocery store always has specials.
But when you start finding your new regular spots, you’ll feel even more accomplished and settled.
15. If you don’t like it, you can go home.
If you get a shitty job, you can quit. If you get a shitty job but it’s fun, you can keep it- it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t boost your career. The whole point is doing what you want to be doing. You can move to another city, or cut your trip short, move all over the city or find an area you love and stay there. There’s no right or wrong way to do it- you can start afresh or hold onto everything from your old life, but the only person that gets to choose is you.