So, you’re the first of your friends to get pregnant. Hopefully you planned this, but we won’t judge you if you didn’t. Either way – CONGRATULATIONS! Your life is certainly going to be changing in a ton of ways, but there is no reason to fear! Your true friends will be there for you through thick and thin and your baby is going to be so loved by all of their crazy Aunts and Uncles. (You do know that half of your Aunts and Uncles growing up were just your parents friends, right?) Here are some things you can expect to happen when you’re the first of your friends to get pregnant.
1. Your friends will constantly ask you how “OHMYGOSH HOW ARE YOU FEELING” and you’ll say you’re great/awful/hungry or some combination of feels. Then they’ll ask you again five minutes later like it’s changed. Sure, it probably has – you are pregnant after all – but this will get old REAALLLLLY fast. Do your best to play it cool, they are just trying to be supportive!
2. Your friends will call you to go out on Friday night, but you won’t realize it until morning because you’ve already passed out on the couch.
3. Your friends will make good-natured “eating for two” comments every time you sit down to eat. At first you may laugh it off and be surprised how NOT hungry you are. Then, out of the blue, it will hit you and the next “eating for two” comment will send you into a food rage. “I’ll show you eating for two!”
4. You will officially become the pregnancy guru, and you will spend forty weeks in the land of TMI. No topic will be off limits. You’ll get questions about your boobs, your back, your butt, and everything in between!
5. You will realize how little everyone who has never been pregnant knows about being pregnant. Mostly, this happens when you turn down that sushi date or the free samples of brie they’re giving out at Wegmans.
6. You will be inundated with newborn sized baby clothes, because tiny things are the cutest! You will fail to realize that some babies are bigger than “newborn” size straight from the womb and you will need to exchange them all.
7. No one will believe that you honestly need to pee as much as you do. You won’t believe it at first either. You’ll think to yourself, “Could I really pee more than I already do?” Yes. The answer is yes.
8. Your friends will make jokes about pickles and ice cream and you’ll be like “Gross. Just give me #allthemacandcheese!”
9. You may have the energy to go out with your friends near the end of trimester two! Hooray! Your real friends won’t judge you for wanting to let loose with some sweet dance moves and a Shirley Temple – which you will drink anytime you go out and will feel like an adult and a toddler simultaneously!
10. People will CONSTANTLY tell you how big you are, forgetting that as a pregnant woman you are extra sensitive to the subject.
11. Eventually, you’ll embrace how big you are, and your friends will try to balance things on your growing belly. It will become quite useful near the end game.
12. When the big day finally arrives and you’ve successfully pushed a human out into the world, you and your friends will rejoice at the adorable creature you created. And, because we’re honest with our friends, YES you pooped on the table.