The Bachelor Breakdown: Lick, Shoot, Suck

The crew escapes the confines of the mansion and head to Mexico City, where Amanda, the single mom, gets the first one-on-one. Ben surprises all of the ladies with a 4:00 a.m. wakeup call and they’re all makeup and extension-less. But still sort of look gorgeous.

Still looks way better than me at 4:30.
Still looks way better than me at 4:30.

One-on-One

Ben and Amanda go on a hot air balloon ride and Olivia uses the time away from her to talk shit about her being a single mother. Amanda opens up about her divorce and raising kids on her own and seems very sincere and ready for a new (better) relationship. She says something very compelling – that her divorce will make her appreciate love and a second marriage even more than it would have if she hadn’t been through this. She gets a rose. I like Amanda too! Damn, casting did a great job this year. I like so many of them and have so far only talked shit about Olivia. This feels weird.

Screen-Shot-2015-12-10-at-12.07.15-AM-620x360

Group Date

Jubilee, Becca, JoJo, Caila, Emily, Lauren B, Jennifer, Leah and Olivia get the group date card, leaving teacher Lauren with the next solo. It seems important to note that for how cocky and “in love” she is, Olivia hasn’t even had a one-on-one and seven girls (over half the house) have. She has never spent more than a few minutes alone with him EVER.

The group date gets a lesson in español before heading to a cooking class. They split into pairs and Jubilee and Olivia fight over Ben as a partner. Olivia wins. I am so unbelievably sick of talking about Olivia. Please good Lord give me some new material or get her off this show. She isn’t even a villain. She’s just a self-righteous lunatic.

Emily on Olivia is all of us
Emily discussing Olivia is all of us

We hear a lot from Jubilee who is still insecure about where she stands. Ben spends the majority of the evening making out with flight attendant Lauren. When it’s Jubilee’s turn he reaches for her hand and she slaps it away. Bad move. He addresses this with her and she says it’s because she wants it to be just her. Ok, I like Jubilee. But, girl, this isn’t eHarmony. You signed up for a dating competition where your “boyfriend” would be guaranteed to be dating 20 other women at once. He tells her he doesn’t see this working out and sends her home. Her parting words are that she “feels like the most unloveable person in the world.” Which is a line she stole from Ben last season. #Dejavu.

He gives the date rose to Olivia, which seems random given his conversations/kisses with other girls, but this show is very heavily produced. So who knows.

One-on-One

Teacher Lauren and Ben go to Mexico Fashion Week. Lauren, in her annoying, but cute Midwestern accent, learns she’ll be walking in the show. She’s very nervous, but she’s also very tall and skinny so she’s a natural model. She opens up about a serious relationship she was in, but ended due to infidelity. They makeout and he gives her a rose.

Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 9.51.30 PM

Rose Ceremony

Amanda is talking about her kids and Olivia tells her it sounds like an episode of Teen Mom. Amanda and everyone else is super offended. She tries to redeem herself by saying she’ll try harder and is learning a lot about herself. And everyone’s all:

Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 10.10.36 PM
Da fuck did you say to me?
Screen Shot 2016-02-01 at 10.10.25 PM
For real?

OH NO SHE DIDN’T.

Twinless Emily tells Ben that Olivia is fake AF and we don’t really know his reaction because she bolts as Olivia approaches. Then Amanda tells him she was just attacked by O. Ben’s finally onto Olivia’s bullshit and just as the rose ceremony begins he pulls Olivia aside and it’s… to be continued.

Predictions

Despite their good dates, I’m not totally sold on Amanda and teacher Lauren.

Still think JoJo, Flight Attendant Lauren and Becca lead the pack.

Not sure how many people will go home, but Olivia and Jennifer are not in previews. If only one other person goes home, I think it is Jennifer. I could see him giving O another chance. But, let’s hope two girls are on the chopping block and Olivia is one of them.

Laura DePeters

Laura DePeters is a (very) late twenty-something living in Atlanta with her husband and pup. A full-time social media supervisor, she's constantly trolling the web. She's an avid SEC college football fan (war eagle!) and enjoys trying to make real life more like Pinterest-life. Can be found watching reality TV, attempting to play tennis and ransacking the clearance section. Twitter: @ladepeters | More on me: lauradepeters.wordpress.com

No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.