1. When DJ and Kimmy skipped school to get autographs from Stacey Q. Stacey Q is now 57 years old IRL. I think this episode was a play on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, which came out a year before this episode aired because this episode is really old.
Season 1: Episode 22 “D.J. Tanner’s Day Off”
2. When the Tanner family got invited on stage with The Beach Boys at their concert. Actually, this made no sense in 1988 either.
Season 2: Episode 6 “Beach Boy Bingo”
3. When DJ ate lunch in a phone booth on her first day of 7th grade. Phone booths do not exist. I repeat: Phone booths do not exist. Although there is one at Epcot in Disney World that you can take pictures in because it’s an attraction. A phone booth is an attraction now.
Season 3: Episode 2 “Back To School Blues”
4. When Joey went on Star Search. Today, he would go on The Voice… or YouTube… or actually he would attempt to make it on both.
Season 3: Episode 6 “Star Search”
5. When DJ took up babysitting to make enough money for her own landline. Not only do children not know what landlines are anymore, they are handed cell phones as babies so parents can keep track of their every physical, social, and mental move.
Season 3: Episode 14 “Misadventures in Babysitting”
6. When Jesse reunited with his ex-girlfriend at his 10 year high school reunion. In these ancient times, there was no social media so *GASP* you could not keep tabs on your exes. Jesse literally hadn’t seen or heard from this girl in years. Nowadays, he would have known what she was up to literally the whole time. He also wouldn’t feel so far removed from high school at age 28. Like why is Jesse such an old adult on this show yet he is only 28? In 2016, shows about 28-year-olds feature them single, drunk, broke, and living in New York City.
Season 4: Episode 9 “One Last Kiss”
7. When Stephanie thought her glasses made her look like a geek. Glasses are so hot right now. People wear glasses not because they have to in 2016, but for fashion. Times have changed.
Season 4: Episode 16 “Stephanie Gets Framed”
8. When DJ went on a date to a drive-in movie theater. Okay, I guess there are a very small amount of these retro theaters scattered across the country as an ode to nostalgia, but they are certainly not cool anymore. And any dude driving a shaggin’ wagon, like DJ’s badass date was, would not be considered cool. And if he just wanted to hook up (which he did), he would obviously ask her to Netflix and chill instead of spending money on her to not see a movie.
Season 5: Episode 23 “Five’s A Crowd”
9. When Stephanie and Michelle somehow got on a flight to New Zealand. They snuck right on that plane and got two seats next to each other like I used to sneak into R-rated movies in the 8th grade. Airplanes are literally the strictest places on Earth now and that would actually never happen. Not a chance.
Season 6: Episode 1 “Come Fly With Me”
10. When DJ forgot about Kimmy’s 16th birthday. Facebook would never let her forget now.
Season 6: Episode 14 “Birthday Blues”
11. When Michelle and Denise called the “Funny Buddy” a million times for $2 a minute. They could just Google jokes… or watch YouTubers. No need to use the phone. In fact, Michelle and Denise probably wouldn’t have even known that you could use phones to talk to each other nowadays. Phones are for watching videos and snap chatting. That’s it.
Season 6: Episode 17 “Silence Is Not Golden”
12. When Joey got DJ a 1977 Pontiac Firebird for her 16th birthday. Guys that car is almost 40 years old today help.
Season 6: Episode 20 “Grand Gift Auto”
13. When DJ and Stephanie convinced Michelle she had Schmedrick’s disease. She would have totally Googled it to find out IT WAS NEVER REAL.
Season 8: Episode 21 “Leap of Faith”