If you know me, you know that Pretty Little Liars is (was?) my favorite TV show. Okay, I don’t think it tops my obsession with The OC, but we don’t have to go there. Seth Cohen ilu 143 <3
Today, Pretty Little Liars is over. No more rushing home by 8pm on Tuesday night to watch. No more anxiously waiting for the next season (or half season) to premiere. No more texting friends and tweeting strangers about theories on who A is. It’s over. It’s done. And it’s never coming back, unless they do a PLL revival on Netflix in 10-15 years to feed our nostalgia when PLL becomes nostalgia. Please let that sink in for a minute because it’s bound to happen.
PLL premiered a few weeks after I graduated college and it ended a year before I will leave my 20s, meaning it WAS my 20s. I’m not even exaggerating. Like, I’m pretty sure I spent 90% of my 20s watching PLL, writing about PLL, tweeting about PLL, texting my friends about PLL, and thinking about PLL. And now it’s over. What am I supposed to do guys?!?!
Before I’m forced to figure out life after PLL, I figured I would leave you all with one last recap. These have been my favorite things to write over the last 7 years and I hope you’ve enjoyed them too. LET’S GO.
THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD. DON’T GET MAD AT ME IF YOU READ THEM. I WARNED YOU. BYE.
I still don’t understand what the opening was. Was it an ode to Gossip Girl’s revival with the weird people on the streets and the snow falling out of nowhere? Why was Lucas a street performer? Why was Jenna on a horse? Why did it start snowing? Why were they not in winter jackets? WHAT DID THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING??????
The Joint Bachelor & Bachelorette Party
The beginning of the show featured a live look into the world’s most boring bachelorette and bachelor party: Aria’s and Ezra’s big rager. Lol, jk. They had a joint bachelor and bachelorette party with a few couples sitting in chairs drinking a few beers before turning in early to fuck their significant others. What? Why? This wasn’t a bach party. It was a summer Wednesday night after work.
Ezra is in his early-mid 30s (?? do we even know how old he is?), so 1% of me wants to give him a pass for this boring night, but like you can still party no matter your age so 99% of me says shame on you Ezra. The rest of the gang is literally in their mid 20s. They are 24/25 year olds and all they want to do is get married, make babies, and sleep. TBH, when I was 24/25 I was blacked out somewhere after drinking way too many red bull vodkas debating whether or not I should ask my dad for money. I was not thinking about having a child. I was child. I still am child. Help.
Also can we talk about the fact that all of the couples at the bach party were OG PLL couples? Ezra and Aria, Caleb and Hanna, Emily and Alison, and Spencer and Toby? Didn’t they make ANY friends in college? Nope. #NoNewFriends. PLL is basically a PSA of what will happen in your early-mid 20s if you stay in your hometown after college and never leave. It’s honestly scarier than being stalked by someone who goes by the name A.D.
The Rehearsal Dinner
The only thing worth mentioning that happened at Aria’s and Ezra’s rehearsal dinner was the moms getting wasted. They’re actually more fun than their daughters. OH WELL. The annoying part of this whole thing though: the moms addressed the time they were in the basement, BUT THEY DID NOT TELL US HOW THEY GOT OUT. HOW DID YOU GET OUT MOMS? HOW? WILL YOU TELL YOU US IN THE PLL MOMS SPINOFF? Can a PLL moms spinoff actually happen tho?
The A.D. Reveal
Some of us thought Spencer had a twin for a while. Then the airport scene a few weeks ago when we saw “Spencer” with Wren pretty much confirmed it. In the finale, this theory became true. Meet: Spencer’s evil british twin, Alex.
Alex (AKA A.D. like Alex Drake) knocked Spencer out and put her in some sort of underground lair. Like, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL THE UNDERGROUND SECOND-LIFE LAIRS ON THIS SHOW? Who builds this shit? Where is this money coming from? It LITERALLY makes no sense. In this lair, we find Mary Drake, who somehow broke out of prison like it’s fucking Shawshank Redemption (which tbh, I would have preferred to watch Mary Drake break out of prison than this shit, but that’s neither here nor there… spinoff idea?).
After Alex explains to Spencer that she’s a crazy bitch who killed Wren and is planning to steal her life, we see Ezra locked away across the hall. Wtf. This made no sense to me. Why was Ezra locked away with Spencer? Like, why was he singled out over everyone else? Honestly, if Alex Drake wanted to be Spencer for the rest of her life, wouldn’t she have locked Spencer away alone? OR KILLED HER? Why would she make the Liars wonder where Ezra was and then search for him? If she didn’t do that, there’s a better chance she wouldn’t have gotten caught. Bitch is dumb. But also, she made an underground lair and a scary high-tech board game, so maybe she’s not dumb?
At first I figured Ezra was locked away because he was somehow involved. I didn’t think Spencer’s twin (#Twincer) was A.D. and if she WAS, I thought there was someone out there above A.D. Before the finale, people kept saying we’d be able to go back and watch from episode 1 and realize we knew who A.D. was the whole time. But this Alex Drake didn’t even know Spencer existed until, like, season 5. I mean, when they were about to graduate college, Melissa was still dating Wren right? So this had to be a post-college/5-year-time-jump-only bad person.
But no. This Alex was was A.D. Major sigh.
The Liars wear typical bridesmaid dresses that are probably the most tame and normal and event-appropriate outfits I’ve ever seen these characters wear. But then Aria comes out in some frock that looks like it was a wedding dress in the early 1900s.
As I said, Ezra was locked away and couldn’t attend his wedding. Aria was left alone and everyone was like WTF so obvvvviously they started to look for him.
The After Wedding
Mona helps the crew find out where Spencer and Ezra are. They enter the underground lair, Toby pulls out his gun, and then the real Spencer stands up speaking French and Alex Drake can’t pretend anymore because she’s not as smart. Then Mona pops up all like “I called the police” and Mary and Alex Drake are taken away.
The Real Wedding
Aria and Ezra get married and plan to look into adopting a child the minute they get home (I didn’t understand why the whole story line of Aria not being able to have children was necessary but ‘tevs), Hanna and Caleb get pregnant (remember when he was just hooking up with Spencer? lol), Emily and Alison are engaged with twins, and Spencer and Toby are IDK but will probably end up together because apparently EVERYONE was endgame.
After Mona called the police, I was all like FINALLY THEY CALL THE POLICE, it only took 7 years. But no. Mona called fake police and then she somehow transported these bitches to France and kept them hidden away in some underground dollhouse. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
The actual ending was a recreation of the first scene of the show and I was feeling Mean Girls/Junior Plastics vibes. Addison goes missing like Allie, and her glasses-wearing preppy friend returns to the barn her friends are sleeping in all like “bitch is gone.” HERE WE GO AGAIN. But like, this wasn’t a sci-fi show. How can “it” happen again when “it” was brought on by family drama due to twins and spouses cheating on spouses? I guess we’ll find out if there is a spinoff called “Junior Liars” or something.
Thanks to all my PLL fan readers. You guys are the best. LONG LIFE PLL FANDOM. Bye for now!