I thought I was so busy in my early 20s. I claimed I was stressed, overworked, committed to too much, and broke (okay, I actually was broke). I thought I was losing friends because I barely had time for all of them anymore. And I was exhausted because of all this to the point where I could go only go out on weekend nights instead of during the week.
Now I look back on those years and long for the free time, friends, and energy I used to have. I didn’t know what stress was. I didn’t know commitment. I wasn’t tired. I wasn’t losing friends. At 29, I can actually say I’ve lost touch with a lot of people over the years. As for going out, I can barely even handle socializing with people one night a week. Like, I’m unsure what would happen to my body if I was forced to party like I used to two or three days in a row. It would not be good.
In honor of mourning my youth and my energy, here is everything I miss about my early 20s. May the ghost of Sam’s past rest without having the spins and then waking up to puke.
1. I miss Friday afternoon mass texts making last minute plans for Friday night, because now everyone is always busy—and planning in advance is the worst.
2. I miss being okay with sleeping on someone else’s floor, or couch, because hotels are expensive.
3. I miss knowing someone would always be around when I felt like doing something, because now I’m bored.
4. I miss not being anxious about spending my weekend days hungover doing nothing instead of being a real person and doing something(s), because now my weekends are just eat, work out, grocery shop, clean, sleep.
5. I miss the money I saved while ‘pre-gaming,’ and the act of pre-gaming, and having it be okay to admit that I like(d) pre-gaming, because I miss spending time with my friends.
6. I miss the lack of responsibilities I had, because now I have too many.
7. I miss making new friends, because now that’s hard.
8. I miss seeing old friends, because I lost touch with a lot of people over the years.
9. I miss ‘the way it used to be,’ because the good old days are definitely gone.
10. I miss it being okay to be broke, because now I just feel like a failure when I’m running low on money.
11. I miss my energy, because I’m always tired now.
12. I miss my metabolism, because it gets harder to lose weight when you get older.
13. I miss thinking 25 was old, because it’s not.
14. I miss thinking 30 was old, because it’s not. Right?
15. I miss being able to talk to my grandparents, because they’re no longer here.
16. I miss not thinking about the fact my parents are getting older, because they are.
17. I miss laughing about things like buying a car and a home because I wasn’t old enough to think about that stuff seriously yet, because now I feel like I should be doing those things—not just thinking about those things.
18. I miss not ever thinking it was ‘too late’ to turn things around and shake up my life, because now I feel like it is.
19. I miss actually wanting to move to New York City and California, because even though I’m happy where I am now, I miss the excitement of potential change.