Anyone who has casually dated knows that dates are awkward. You don’t even know this person and suddenly you’re sitting at a table with them and are forced to make conversation. Considering I LOVE trying to explain what I do for a living (sarcasm), dates are the best (sarcasm). So let’s just get this all out in the open, shall we? Here are the honest-to-God pros and cons of dating me. If I could put all of these things on the online dating profile that I will inevitably make, I would.

The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Jokes

PRO: I think I’m hilarious. Therefore, I will laugh at my own jokes and you don’t have to.

CON: If you actually don’t laugh I will probably call you out on it.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Obsession With Pizza

PRO: I am ALWAYS down to order pizza.

CON: If we do order pizza, I will eat most of it and there probably won’t be any left for you.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Mood(s)

PRO: If I’m sad or need a distraction, I will bake things—most likely cookies.

CON: If you are the one that made me sad I will not let you eat any of them.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Bank Account

PRO: I have a big girl job.

CON: My big girl job doesn’t even pay me enough to live, so you might have to buy dinner every once and a while.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me… in General

PRO: I have my shit together.

CON: Because I have my shit together, I expect you to know that about me and act accordingly. (see examples here)


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me if You Like Video Games

PRO: I actually enjoy video games.

CON: I’m super competitive and will not let you win.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Career

PRO: I love my job.

CON: Loving my job means I’m very career-oriented. I will put my work before almost anything else and not be sorry.

SC_02605 Sex and the City , September 27, 2007 Photo by Craig Blankenhorn/ To license this image (14968603), contact NewLine: U.S. +1-212-686-8900 / U.K. +44-207-868-8940 / Australia +61-2-8262-9222 / Japan: +81-3-5464-7020 +1 212-686-8901 (fax) (e-mail) (web site)

The Pros and Cons of Dating Me (and My Family)

PRO: I am in no hurry to meet your parents.

CON: Parents love me.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Inability to Lie

PRO: I will almost always tell you exactly what’s on my mind, because I hate playing games.

CON: I don’t tolerate dishonesty.

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The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Social Life

PRO: I don’t mind if you go out with your boys on a Friday night.

CON: If going out with your boys involves hitting on other girls we will have a problem.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Texting Habit

PRO: I understand that you can’t always respond to my text right away.

CON: If I don’t hear from you for a few days I will assume something is wrong. I’m not crazy, I just don’t appreciate being strung along.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Beauty Routine

PRO: I care about how I look.

CON: Sometimes it will take me more than 20 minutes to get ready to go out.


The Pros and Cons of Traveling With Me

PRO: I love to travel.

CON: I might repeatedly tell you that I “can’t spend money” on the weekends because I’m saving up for a trip.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me (and My Friends)

PRO: Like Biggie said, tell your friends to get with my friends, and we can be friends.

CON: If my girls don’t like you that is a HUGE red flag.


The Pros and Cons of Cuddling With Me

PRO: I don’t need you to cuddle with me all night.

CON: I usually lay like a starfish in my bed.


The Pros and Cons of Eating Out With Me

PRO: I love trying new restaurants and/or foreign food.

CON: I will probably eat off your plate because I like to try as much as possible.


The Pros and Cons of Watching Movies With Me

PRO: I don’t mind if we watch an action movie on movie night. I actually love action movies.

CON: I still want to see the new Ryan Gosling movie when it comes out.


The Pros and Cons of Drinking With Me

PRO: I love beer just as much as you do.

CON: I will beat you in a beer-chugging contest and embarrass you in front of your friends.


The Pros and Cons of My Legging Addiction

PRO: I can rock leggings and look damn good in them.

CON: Sometimes you will have to force me to put on real pants.


The Pros and Cons of My Love of Carbs

PRO: I love carbs and cheese and junk food.

CON: If I’m craving mozzarella sticks we are going to get them. You don’t have a choice.


The Pros and Cons of Dating a Girl Who Loves Coffee

PRO: I will always have coffee ready in the morning.

CON: If we happen to run out of coffee, you will probably have to go buy some because I cannot function without it.


The Pros and Cons of Dating Me and My Love of Watching TV

PRO: I’m always down to Netflix and chill.

CON: This could result in staying in bed all day (which is not necessarily a bad thing).


Related Content:

12 Things I Wish I Knew About Love And Dating In My Early-Mid 20s

7 Dating Truths That Will Stop You From Being Delusional And Overanalyzing Everything


Hillary Bautch is a Wisconsin girl living in Boston, where she can often be found double-fisting cups of coffee. She takes pleasure in making other people feel awkward and purposely does weird stuff so she can write about it later. Hillary enjoys eating pizza, watching other people fall down on ice skates, and complaining about how much she wants a dog. Follow her random musings and sarcastic rants at @hillarybautch.

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