Birthdays change as you get older. When I was a kid, all I wanted was a themed birthday party, a good cake, and as many presents as humanly possible. When I was in college and through my early-mid 20s, I wanted to drink, dance, and not remember the drinking or dancing the next day. Every year that I’ve edged closer to 30, the desire to celebrate my birthday has not diminished – but it’s changed.

I don’t like to go out like I used to. I mean, I will, if the occasion arises – but for my birthday, I prefer to use it as an excuse to bring my friends, who rarely ever all get together anymore, together. And not to black out – but to actually hang out and catch up at a place where you can talk over music, and then remember doing so the next morning. When I was 23, I would have thought this thought process was weird, but at 28, it just feels right.

Here are 10 thoughts I had on my 23rd birthday compared to 10 thoughts I had on my 28th birthday. While it may feel like my 23rd birthday was yesterday, this all confirms it totes wasn’t.


23: I wonder how many people will write on my wall.

28: I wonder how many people will text and call me.


23: Why didn’t ___ write on my wall?

28: Why did ___ write on my wall? Also, is it even still called a wall?


23: I want clothes from Urban Outfitters for my birthday.

28: I want literally everything from Pottery Barn and William Sonoma for my birthday (and in general).


23: Ugh, I don’t have time to see my family today – I have plans with friends.

28: I’m going to try to make time to see my friends after I celebrate my birthday with family, but if not, ‘tevs.


23: Let’s go to a club and black out.

28: Let’s go somewhere where we can sit and talk to each other.


23: I want to dance.

28. I want to dance, but I literally have no idea where to do that without being surrounded by 21 year olds.


23: Tonight I’m going to wear a dress and heels.

28: Tonight I have no idea what to wear because I have no ‘going out’ clothes anymore. What do people even wear out anymore? If I wear a dress, will that be too much?


23: I want to take a million pictures tonight.

28: All I want is one good picture.


23: I’m going to drink so much tonight.

28: I want to drink tonight, but I also don’t want to get sick.


23: I’m so old.

28: I’m so old.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

Write A Comment