1. With all the hype surrounding the movie, you have no reason not to see it.
2. Charlie Hunnam < Jamie Dornan. Sorry, SOA fans. But if we can’t get RyGos or Ian Sommerhalder, Jamie Dornan’s sexy, scruffy Christian Grey is eye candy for the ages.
3. If you’ve read the book, you know there’s no plot. But you want to see Jamie Dornan anyway.
4. Even if you didn’t read the book, you know you’re curious (no shame) and still want to see Jamie Dornan shirtless.
5. Gone Girl lived up to the hype and scored nominations during awards season. Will 50 Shades score big at the MTV Movie Awards?
6. If you’ve read the book, judging by the trailer, Dakota Johnson totally nails Ana’s innocence to a T.
7. You know the chemistry between Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson is going to be awkward. But let’s be honest–you didn’t pay $11 because you’re actually going to pay attention to the major plot lines.
8. There’s no better way to spend Valentine’s Day with your gal pals.
9. The soundtrack. From Ellie Goulding’s “Love Me Like You Do” to Queen Bey’s stripped-down “Crazy In Love”, the hauntingly beautiful tunes will totally add more depth to the bland plot (and, dare we say it, make it more exciting).
10. You want to know if they’ll show the 21-clause contract Ana signs.
11. Will the “Red Room of Pain” actually be red?
12. E.L. James made $95 million from the books in 2013, so you know she’s doing something right.
13. Rita Ora is playing Christian’s sister, and you’re dying to know if she can actually act.
14. The movie’s rated “R”, so yeah, you know they can’t include everything. Meaning there’s probably more emphasis on romance, therefore classifying it as a rom-com.
15. Will Jose begin every sentence he says with “Ay dios mio?”
16. And will he be super protective of Ana like he was in the book?
17. Take a shot every time you see Kate Kavanagh mentioned by both her first and last name and is wearing pink pajamas. This is going to be fun.
18. You want to know if Ana and Christian will still email each other with obscenely long subject lines or, you know, enter 2015 and use modern communication.
19. And on that note, will Ana’s technological virginity remain true in the movie? Poor girl didn’t know how to use email, let alone have a computer throughout college. (What is this? 2001?)
20. Judging by the technology times, Christian’s Blackberry will most likely be replaced by an iPhone. Seems only fitting.
21. The movie will most likely attract the same audience as Magic Mike for the same reasons.
22. Will Ana say “Double crap” out loud?
23. And, of course, is “laters, baby” going to be Christian’s go-to phrase in the movie, like in the book?
24. You want to see if Jamie can say “crack whore” in his American accent without missing a beat.
25. You want to know if Ana will have an angel/devil/cartoon version of Lizzie McGuire analyzing her Inner Goddess and Subconscious.
26. Is it ironic that Ana works at a hardware store and Christian visits her at work? There’s plenty of cable ties and ropes…
27. If they can do 50 Shades with Legos, everything is that much more awesome.
28. According to E.L. James, there is a spanking bench in the movie version’s Red Room of Pain, but will Jamie/Christian actually use it?
29. Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed are getting their own adaptations too, so that means more shirtless Jamie.
