I love this dress. There may be red swans hanging out everywhere… and it may look like the designer enjoyed making snowflakes out of paper a little too much as a child… but either way – swans, crazy designs, ruffles, and a fiery red dress with lipstick to match makes Dianna Agron look fabulous. This is one of my three favorite dresses from last night. HIT.

Lea Michele must have a little (or a lot of) Rachel Berry in her, as the young hottie tried to one up her Glee co-star, Dianna Agron, last night. Dianna showed some skin where the swans were cut from (above)… so naturally, Lea had to show skin, too. I see this is a trend, but Lea looks like she is playing the black swan on ice. I have to admit, I kind of love it… but definitely not for the Golden Globes. MISS.

Jessica Alba was one of my three best dressed picks of last night. The color is perfect for her glowing skin and the design is absolutely gorgeous! Not to mention the matching clutch. Where can I get this “look for less?” The answer is the gym. Jessica could make the ugliest outfit look hot. HIT.

Oh, Sarah Michelle Gellar. If Forever 21 had a prom collection, you would most likely find this dress hanging on the racks. Enough said. At least you’re still hot. MISS.

I have an intense girl crush on Zooey Deschanel, and therefore will like anything she does or wears. Zooey could wear Sarah’s above dress and I would probably like it. I love the green and black together. I LOVE her hair. And most of all, I love her eyes. She is so quirky and unique that I would be confused if she wore anything even remotely normal or trendy. HIT.

Let’s talk about the worst Golden Globes outfit ever. Okay, maybe it’s not the all time worst, but right now it definitely seems that way. WTF is with the headband. Michelle Williams looks like she went for a morning run and didn’t have time to shower before the red carpet so put her hair up and pulled it back with some extremely casual headband that would most likely cost $1.50 for Forever 21. . I know it’s not that cold in LA right now, so there is no need to hide behind a 3/4 sleeve velvet dress. Live a little. Show some skin. Embrace your youth. MISS.

If I had a body like Charlize Theron and was going to the Golden Globes (which I will be going to in a few years), I would want/need to wear this dress. I love pink. I love showing skin. And I love bows. This playful and classy dress, which I chose as one of my three favorites of the night, is perfect for Charlize this year after starring in “Young Adult.” It has the best of both worlds (the adult world and the child world). This dress channels one badass Princess. Move aside, Kate Middleton. HIT.

When I first saw this dress, I wasn’t too sure about it. It looked so plain, dark, and blah. But when I saw the pics online, I noticed Emma Stone‘s attempt at high fashion… and I kind of liked it. I’m still not sure if I love the dress on her… and the belt looks like you could press a button and be transported back in time (Power Rangers anyone?). As for her face and hair, Emma could definitely look better. Since I am all for trying new things (and I can’t decide about the dress), I can’t say miss. But I also can’t say hit (mostly because of the belt)… so since I can’t decide I have to combine both words and say HISS.

The majority of this dress may be a “boring-but-flattering” shiny black color… but the craziness across the bust gives it enough pop to make it a stunning, unique dress. Salma Hayek‘s dress stands out from all the rest (even though the majority of it is “boring” black) and not just because it shines from a mile away (literally) – but because it isn’t a solid color, it’s not the same color of her skin, and it’s not safe. Not to mention the awesome matching earings (I’m a sucker for gold) and her amazing hairdo. HIT.

Okay, I know it sucks to be overweight. And I know it’s much harder to find dresses and outfits to wear that you actually look good in. But if you have a lot of money, a lot of stylists, and a lot of choices… you should be able to find something that looks good – and have a team behind you telling you that you either look good or bad. I highly doubt Melissa McCarthy wanted to look like she was pregnant with triplets, so why didn’t someone tell her no? MISS.

My 17 year old self had dreams about wearing a dress exactly like this one to prom. My 17 year old self also had dreams about having the body to pull it off. Kate Beckinsale surely does. She is pretty in pink, and due to her lack of breasts, pulls off the strapless dress very well. The only thing is she wore a very similar dress last year. Regardless of that, she gets a HIT.

I think Reese Witherspoon is gorgeous. I also think red is a fabulous color on her. However, there comes a time where a girl has to realize that she either can or cannot pull off a strapless dress. In this situation, Reese cannot pull off this strapless dress. She has a gorgeous face, but I can’t keep my eyes on it because I can’t keep my eyes off her breasts, wondering when the dress is going to start falling down. I still love Reese in red, so I give this another HISS.

Natalie Portman and hot pink are two of my favorite things (other than Mila Kunis and vodka redbulls). I want to love this dress. I really do. But it looks like she went to Walmart, bought a few yards of silkly hot pink fabric, and wrapped it around herself. I can’t give her a miss… so she naturally gets a HIT.

The bottom of Madonna‘s dress reminds me of the Missy Elliot video when she wore a trashbag.  The cross necklace is distracting. And Madonna looks like a 20-something, even though she obviously isn’t. The other dress looks like one of those weird, expensive hipster dresses that quickly go on sale at Urban Outfitters. Double MISS.

Out of everyone at the Golden Globes, Kelly Osbourne‘s outfit was the most depressing. I love E!’s Fashion Police. I love it so much, that I have even gotten my boyfriend into it (and by into it, I mean he watched one episode with me and laughed – that still counts, right?). For 30 minutes, every week, I watch Joan Rivers shit on every known celebrity with Kelly O by her side. You would think Kelly would fear for her life to even step foot in her driveway looking horrible – nevermind to the Golden f*cking Globes. White hair? No tan? Space ship sleeves? Wtf. I love the mermaid look – and Kelly can definitely pull it off now… oh, and I love the color blue… but the white hair and the sleeves will forever make me question her judgement on the show I love. Sorry Kelly, but this is a total MISS.

Who did you think was best dressed  last night? Worst dressed?

Author

Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

4 Comments

  1. Oh, SMG. You are my favorite person on the planet, you haven’t been to the Globes in years, and you wear THAT?

    Great post! Can’t wait what Joan Rivers and the gang have to say about these.

    • HAHA. I read that her daughter picked it out. I guess that makes it cute? But still not okay.

      Fashion Police tonight! Can’t wait to hear what they say… Especially since Kelly O looked horrendous. I think I’m going to add her to my miss list actually haha.

  2. I beg to differ on a few!
    SMG- Love in a weird way. I am not sure its an appropriate Golden Globes dress, but I think its pretty!
    Zooey- AWFUL!! I love her, but no…that is not a good look. The collar on the dress? Weird. SIDEBURNS?! Come on Zooey!
    Natalie Portman- Blah. She looked so beautiful last year, that dress looks like a cheap prom dress.

    • Thanks for the input 🙂 And thanks for agreeing about Natalie Portman. I don’t understand why people love that dress so much. It legit looks like she wrapped fabric around her body. I would know, because I’ve done that the past 4 Halloweens.

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