These things did not make you cool. These thing made you FEEL cool. Nothing you did in high school was probably actually cool. What does cool even mean? Because seriously I don’t know. My office is cool. I’m fucking freezing. Help.

Anyway… here are some things that may or may not have made you feel cool in high school:


1. Drinking in the woods. Or industrial parks. Or the parking lot of McDonalds. Or in the backseat of someone’s car. Basically drinking in a random deserted illegal place in general. So cool.

2. Dooney and Bourke bags. So many letters. So much pink. AHHHHHHHH. MAKE IT STOP.

3. Coach bags. So many other designers out there. Sooooo many.

4. Coach keychains. We could have put our keys on AN-Y-THING. ANYTHING. Why did we have to buy these ugly silver keychains that were way too overpriced?

5. Anything from Coach, basically. Those SHOES? The UMBRELLAS? The SUNGLASSES? It never ended.

6. Driving to school. OoOoOoOo yeah. Sure, everyone else your age could drive because you were of age… but the act of driving was just TOO COOL. Too cool for school. Literally.

7. Rolling into school blasting a really awesome song for everyone to hear. Umm, did you know? I like good music. I make great mix CDs. And, also, my car has speakers.

8. Getting a ride to school from another student before you could drive. When you couldn’t drive, you had to roll with someone who could. The other option was the bus AKA not cool. It didn’t even matter who you got a ride with. As long as you got to walk to class from the student lot, you were golden.

9. Ripped Jeans. Let’s pay more money for less jeans? Yes? No? Yes?

10. Ezra Fitch jeans. This was my idea of “designer” in high school. I had real designer jeans, but I wanted Ezra Fitch jeans more. Pathetic.

11. Abercrombie and Fitch. Like, the store. The whole store in general. And while we’re at it, can someone please tell me how that place still exists?

12. Being on “Varsity.” No one actually gave a shit about your athletic status, but in your head they did… so… it made you cool.

13. Buying lunch. Unless you just didn’t eat lunch, because if that was the case you must have felt really cool literally losing weight while sitting in the cafeteria.

14. Wearing ribbons in your hair. I was a fan of this. I used ribbons that I got after buying something at Victoria’s Secret (those were my favorite because they were hot pink). I used ribbons that I would steal off the belt loops of pants in Abercrombie and Fitch. I used ribbons that I bought from the fabric store because why not. It was obscene. I was 16, not 6. Whatever.

15. Tying a ribbon (stolen from Abercrombie and Fitch) to your jeans belt loop. Yeahhhhh, I didn’t just wear the ribbons in my hair. The whole belt loop thing was FUCKING WEIRD, right?!

16. DOUBLE POPPED COLLARS. AHH. WHY. WHY. WHY. I don’t think I will ever know the answer. Like, WHY go through the trouble of wearing TWO way-too-small Abercrombie and Fitch polos over one another? Wasn’t this uncomfortable? Talk about too many layers… Let’s not forget the rule of double collar popping though… Must match color of moose to color of “under-polo.” Fuck, we had problems.

17. Associating with anyone older than you. Again, doesn’t matter WHO — Just the pure fact of talking to someone who was in a grade above you made you feel really fucking cool. They just seemed so MATURE.

18. Being invited to a party. Whether you went or not it didn’t matter. You were invited to an event where people were going to be *drinking.* Omg you were like so cool.

19. Having a sweet 16. Do kids still have these? Because 16 isn’t that sweet anymore. 21 on the other hand…

20. Skipping class… with some sort of note to excuse yourself probably written by your mom. This was the epitome of badass, since you would never actually *skip* class with the prospect of getting in trouble… that wouldn’t make you feel cool. Unless you got away with it.

21. Involving yourself in a “senior skip day” or “junior skip day.” With parent approval of course. Because, detention = not cool.

22. Going to a prom that wasn’t your prom. Maybe it was the older grade’s prom. Maybe it was another school’s prom. You were just SO AWESOME that everyone wanted you at their prom.

22. Wearing your uniform to school. Or a suit on game day if that’s how your team rolled. I was a cheerleader and yes I vaguely remember wearing my uniform to school on occasion like it was the fucking set of Glee. Help.

23. Not carrying a backpack. Because who needs to do work for school when you’re SUPER EFFING COOL?

24. Sneaking out. To see boys, to drink, to hop in a 16 year old’s car for a joyride without your parents finding out… If you got away with it, SO COOL.

25. Having your locker decorated for your *bday.* THE PEOPLE LOVE YOU, THEY REALLY DO.

26. Roaming the halls with bags of gifts on your *bday.* Why put all these gifts in your locker when you can carry them around all day to make it known to everyone who passes by you that 1. it is your birthday and 2. you have friends?!

27. Dashboard Confessional. Or Taking Back Sunday. Or Yellowcard. Or Brand New. Emo music made for one happy high schooler.

28. Attending Dave Matthews Band concerts. Like sorry EDM didn’t exist back then. You rage, we “chilled.” SO MUCH COOLER.

29. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend. Well, duh.

30. Being involved in pep rallies. Because if you weren’t involved in athletics, who were you?

31. Being acknowledged by the principal, vice principal, office administration, teachers who weren’t your teachers, etc. People knew who you were! You must have been doing something right, even though the reason they knew who you were might have been because you did something wrong, but whatevs.

32. Having the newest Nextel. BEEP BEEP MOTHER FUCKERS.

33. Having a Razr. #Vintage

34. Getting to leave school early for sports. So athletic right now.

35. Wearing high school themed clothes with your (or your S/O’s) name on it. 10 points if “Captain” was stitched on your gear too.

36. Getting coffee before school. Or some sort of drink from a coffee place. And bringing some for all yo’ friends. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU WOKE UP BEFORE SUNRISE.

37. Going on AIM Express whenever your class got to go to the computer lab. And getting that IM that said you were now logged in two places at once, because you were obviously logged in at home too with an away message up that said you were at school because… there were so many other places you could actually be?

38. Putting on an away message that said you were in the computer lab in class while on AIM Express in the computer lab.

39. Updating your MySpace when in the computer lab. Gotta check my friend requests, change my song, and maybe update my top friends!

40. Passing notes. In the hall, in class, wherever. Conversing was so hot back then… You know, before TEXTING.

41. Student Council. Like, people voted for you. Cool factor = raised.

42. Getting a late pass from a teacher you had an “in” with so you could roam the halls and show up to class fashionably late.

43. Sitting with members of the opposite sex at lunch.

44. Being in an infinite amount of “club” pictures in the yearbook. No you never actually went to any meetings, but you were so involved. GOOD FOR YOU.

45. Doing “cool” volunteering activities with friends like Relay For Life. You had to volunteer in order to graduate, so why not make a night out of it?

46. Getting away with cheat sheets. That is, if you were cool enough to take the wild risk of using a cheat sheet.

47. Experiencing running from the cops. It’s an experience. And if you had it, you probably felt really cool.

48. Getting nominated for a superlative. Even if it was worst driver, you made yourself known during your 4 years of high school so that’s good.

49. Winning a superlative. As if being NOMINATED wasn’t enough… Look how cool WINNING made you!!!

50. Getting into college and then putting your school of choice in your AIM profile so everyone would know your decision. Because college is just THAT much cooler, and you knew that in high school, so PROPS.


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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