Every time I need something done to my car, I panic. Cars are expensive and so are their parts, and don’t even get me started on labor costs. I just need to get from point A to point B, why is it so hard to maintain a proper vehicle to do so?! The other day I got my car inspected and here’s how it went:
1. (pulling in) Okay, deep breaths, deep breaths.
2. My car isn’t making sounds or acting weird, so there’s no reason why it wouldn’t pass inspection.
3. Why do I have to do this every year?!
4. This is such a waste of $35.
5. Do you know how many things I could buy with $35?
6. Ugh, okay. Roll the window down.
7. “Yes, sir, I need an inspection please.”
8. WHY ARE MECHANICS SO RUDE TO WOMEN?
9. Where is my registration?
10. PANIC!
11. I need to clean out my glove box.
12. UGH thank God. There is my registration.
13. Guess I’ll go sit in that grubby chair in the waiting room.
14. Come to think of it, my car does make a weird sound when I turn left.
15. OH GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE SO EXPENSIVE.
16. HELP ME I’M POOR.
17. I know nothing about cars.
18. These are things I should learn.
19. Carburetor…alternator…belts…engine…gauge…coolant…
20. I CAN’T.
21. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THESE WORDS MEAN.
22. NO ONE IS EVEN SAYING THESE WORDS TO ME.
23. I’M JUST THINKING THEM UP ON MY OWN.
24. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
25. He said it would be 10 minutes. What is taking so long?!
26. They are finding a million things wrong with my car.
27. I just know it.
28. Bye, life savings.
29. I will pour all my dollars into a car.
30. It’s fine. I don’t need groceries.
31. Hope my dad answers his phone when I call him to ask if I do actually need new (insert car part here).
32. I’m sweating.
33. I swear I’m never getting a car again.
34. I’ll walk. Or take the bus.
35. But I love my FREEDOM to go wherever I want.
36. IS HE ALMOST DONE?!
37. Here he comes.
38. With a stack of papers.
39. OH GOD.
40. NO NO NO PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME PAY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
41. Phew!
42. My car passed.
43. No repairs needed.
44. Maybe soon though.
45. (angels sing)
46. $35 isn’t so bad.
47. Thank God I don’t have to do this for another year.
48. But my panic is already starting.
49. Until then, I will hit the open road.
50. And drive away into the sunset.
